i am as graceless and obvious as i was in middle school.

who caught her as she swallowed number six ( Read more... )

today, i was grazed by a mini-van on the way to the letterpress shop. when i got there, johanna said "what's wrong? you like kinda..." and i said "oh, i'm all sweaty from the ride." pause. then i remembered "oh yeah, and this mini-van almost hit me and i fell off my bike." and she said "yeah, you're shaking. i knew something was wrong. i thought ( Read more... )

6-10pm - printing with krueger ( Read more... )

wrote:

There, little girl, don't read,
You're fond of your books, I know,
But Brother might mope
If he had no hope
Of getting ahead of you.
It's dull for a boy who cannot lead.
There, little girl, don't read.

it's funny to me how many ingredients can be ommitted from recipes. for example, today i made vegan pudding using water cos i didn't have soy milk, and it wasn't exactly the same, but it was close enough. someone might ask how you can make cake or pancakes or french toast without eggs, and there are all these tips for using a banana or corn starch ( Read more... )

sure i think all things are one. when i hear a radio commercial in which the punchline is a 30-something white guys saying "awkward" and audibly biting his lip, i realize that this commercial is a tiny episode of the show "Friends" and that "Friends" and commercials are the same thing ( Read more... )

i'd like to open a coffee shop called: Grounds For Divorce!

this still doesn't beat matt's idea for a great-depression-themed restaurant (possible names are "the soup kitchen" and "the dust bowl")

oh also, i thought of a name for a cereal: muessolini

face-scanning robot sez i look like benito juarez ( Read more... )