it's like the worst still from a horror film. you vomit blood all over my tshirt and im looking around for more. this catastrophe of mirror images and typical one-liners is breaking itself against me, destroying itself against me, repeating itself against me until i start to take notice. sometimes i wish i hadn't offered up my body for the ( Read more... )

and even though i've showered i can still smell you on my skin. broken blood vessels decorate my neck like daisy chains, i notice them when im staring at my skin so hard i can see every bone and line through it. you were a gambler, sober and foreign. clumsy knees between knees on a barstool, liquor and numbers falling out of our mouths. you kissed ( Read more... )

biting my fingernails down to my skin, my mouth tastes like cigarettes and red wine ( Read more... )

there is a monster on my shoulders it is burying itself under my lungs pulling teeth and eyelashes to make a pile of me. i dont exist within these walls within these blood cells. i am resolute to the point where im tasting blood, to the point where my body is solidifying into something made out of heavy metal and rusted bolts. i am fucking breaking ( Read more... )

i dont sleep at night anymore, i just stay up in my single bed, listen to my sister breathe and count the seconds between the end and now. this babyface is in shambles. walking around like i dont have my jaw ripped from my skull, like i dont have every single fucking minute of my life without you beating me in the face with each step. i swing ( Read more... )

i get home on a sunday night &
pull out my hair extensions one by one
like im just done disguising myself
like i dont want anything between me
& her fingers on my hair.

isn't it funny,
just how much we can grit our teeth against.

admirable really,
the weight of what we can swallow.

im on my knees begging with a closed mouth. begging, risking life and limb without stepping a foot near any kind of edge. offering sacrifices with silences. my body, my heart. oh, just take it all. in the end, im fooling everyone. even me. even the blue-eyed stain in the mirror is a fool for my clever tricks. im like springtime, blooming promises ( Read more... )

i wake up remembering that crooked house we used to call home. buried at the end of a street. i took an aerosol can and sprayed every wall of my dollhouse, cleaning until my eyes ran with the smell. and you stood in front of me, saying easy girl. your lungs aren't made to breathe this in. so i laid down on the peach of your sheets, i remember ( Read more... )

here i am falling down from the rafters ( Read more... )