It's Becoming Really Obvious.

[banana13]

My dad messaged me on Facebook two days ago for the first time since the Father's Day blowout:

❝just thought i would say hi.. hope you are well.❞

I responded:

❝I'm doing alright.

Have you given any further thought to what I said?❞
I thought it was a pretty simple, straight-forward, and reasonably polite question. I had spent a lot of time on my

Comments

[secret_gyoza]

your dad is kind of an immature jerk.

i had a therapist that told me that with my family i could only expect what they were capable of giving if i wanted to have a relationship with them. some people require a lot of self-examination, you have to ask yourself if it's worth your trouble to deal with that. if he is i wouldn't expect him to change. that's kind of where i am with my own dad.

[banana13]

Right now, I'm just playing nice until I can get the picture I loaned him back. There's no way I'm letting him keep it. I'll just have to swing by his house next time I have a chance, and I'll drop off the DVD he loaned me and get my picture back. And after that... who knows?

[secret_gyoza]

with my dad, i know he loves me. he'll do what he can for me but he's an ass. he drinks too much blames everything on everyone else and throws temper tantrums. he'll throw stuff and shit like that. i don't really expect a relationship out of him and it makes me uncomfortable because he doesn't seem to know that he can't handle one. he just not there emotionally to be an adult and have a healthy relationship, but it's like he forgets that sometimes and tries in the most awkward selfish ways. it's like he bounces off of me occasionally and that's our relationship.

and it's okay because i don't expect more and have accepted that.

[banana13]

Yep, that's pretty much my dad exactly. Plus my dad constantly lays guilt trips.

The sad part is that I don't really know if my dad loves me. My whole life, he's always been more interested in his significant others than in me.

When my step-mom was physically abusing me and my brother, he sided with her. He paid for her daughter to get braces, but never had the time or money to get me braces. When I was in the emergency room after a friend of mine drove over my foot, he opted to stay home, in bed with his then-girlfriend, instead of coming to pick me up...