Oh man, thank god I stopped doing THAT.

I lay my head down on the molded pillow.
I pull the cool blanket up under my chin.
The bed is large.
Larger than is should be.
I extend my arms and legs out to the four corners
a human starfish
and feel nothing.
The emptiness engulfs them and they are no more.
I am alone.
In the pitch black, I close my eyes and see nothing less.
I cease to move and the ( Read more... )

I've been gone for over a year, and what a year it's been. I don't really perceive most of 2006; I remember it in bits and pieces and at times, all of last year doesn't really seem to have occured at all ( Read more... )

Ah god! Mornings are becoming a very dreadful time for me.

These dreams have gotta stop. I'm not even sure which are worse--the "good" ones or the "bad" ones. At the moment, I'd say the bad ones, simply because lately I seem to be having more of those.

The last time we talked in January, you said some things that I now understand you did not mean in the way that they sounded to me at the time. You said the same things you're saying now: "You wanted me to spend time with you, to hang out. I hung out." The point of words is to get our ideas across to other people, and while you may know exactly ( Read more... )

Back in October, I bought a pair of tickets to Wicked as a surprise for our first anniversary. The show's this Sunday at 3:00pm. When I was ordering the tickets, I even joked with Lena about whether we'd still be together in April; with how things were, the idea that we wouldn't seemed laughable. Two months later, it ceased being humorous ( Read more... )

Is it me? Am I of some rare breed of man that can communicate clearly? Is being able to distinctly say what you're feeling some kind of hidden talent that only a select few possess? I just don't get how someone can say something that to most people has a certain interpretation in the English language, and yet be convinced that they're saying ( Read more... )

Back into hiding you must go
Back into the darkness that concealed you
Your existance known only to those that know where you hide
Only to those that know you survived.

You flew on wings of brilliant gold
You flew higher than the highest
But your wings shattered and now you must hide
You must not be seen.

It appears that my recent insomnia has been secretly wreaking havoc on my immune system. All the while that my mind's been torturing itself, the viruses have been planning their attack, looking for the optimum time to strike. That time was now, and upon realizing this, they finally attacked. My body's current state is the resultant combat zone ( Read more... )

I know that some schools just aren't for me. Rutgers-Newark just isn't for me. Stevens just isn't for me. Bergen Community just isn't for me. I was there today, sending out my transcript for the courses I took while in high school. All along the giant hall were international flags. Under each flag, a neatly-hand-written label had the country ( Read more... )