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Oh my God ( Read more... )

After a lot of tossing and turning, I managed to sleep. Right now, I'm at school. I made it. I'm a hero. I deserve being rewarded. I deserve my own name tag and a hug. "This is Linn, survivor of the day". I feel like a load of excrements. I have started building my mental wall to protect me towards overwhelming emotions, and it will burst a million ( Read more... )

And now, alas, I am home again. Albeit the word "home" is daft and wrong, considered where my heart is. I wish I could go to bed, I wish I could sleep. It would all have been so much easier if I could rest. But how the hell am I supposed to sleep without Eskil? Without kissing him goodnight and gently stroke his cheek while watching him smile in ( Read more... )

I'm so afraid. The weather is pretty nice now, but what if it changes during the night? What if I wake up to something similiar to a hurricane? What if ( Read more... )

It's horrible ( Read more... )

In fourteen hours, I will be in Skien. Fourteen fucking hours. My life has become an endless waiting, and when the waiting is over, my life becomes a swoosh. A swoosh which is over far too quickly. I don't like that the swooshes does not last very long. I think it is because of all the frantic fun I am experiencing when in a swoosh ( Read more... )

I wish I wasn't this furiously fearsome. I don't think it's good for me, my brain has definitely taken enough self-caused trauma, at least for today. I know of no way to end these thoughts when they have manifested themselves in my front cortex, but I'm sort of happy that they do not come as frequently as they used to. Only now, when they come, ( Read more... )

I'm supposed to be downtown in fifteen minutes. Downtown is at least three kilometres away, and it's snowing like crazy. I could have walked, but I didn't bother. I could have taken a bus half an hour ago, but then I'd have to wait outside for thirty minutes. And remember, it's snowing. And it's cold. Perhaps they opened the doors much earlier than ( Read more... )

I don't feel ( Read more... )