It smells like grown-up ladies, it smells like a perfume I would never wear. I suspect that somebody has borrowed it, temporarily stolen it, without my permission, and used it in order to maintain a decent body temperature in the blistering cold of Northern Norway. I suspect the sinner to be my sister, because she is a preteen and thus annoyingly ( Read more... )

Last night, before going to bed, I felt sort of hollow. As if I had forgotten something, and then I became really sad. I sat down on my bed, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. I retrieved a special piece of clothing from a plastic bag on my shelf, and the smell was arousing. I understood what caused this hollowness, and then I turned ( Read more... )

I had a dream ( Read more... )

Sometimes it hurts a lot. I won't pretend to be too strong to admit it. Conversation, the presence between two individuals of which I am the first of them, is frightfully necessary for me. I don't like it when the two people seems to never be at the same place at the same time. I feel unease. I feel a strange kind of worrying, but without reason ( Read more... )

I walk into a cafè, right. I'm happy as hell, because my bank account contained close to 500 units of Norwegian currency, for some reason I don't know. (But hey, I'm not complaining!) I decided to celebrate this by buying a croissant for myself in the mentioned cafè, it costs 20 kr, I figured I could afford it. So I walk in there, and after ( Read more... )

Sometimes I just lose track of how to cope. I wish I had a solution to this, and I'll probably find one. A very rash, irrational solution causing more problems than joys. But I can't give in to the cold reasoning of people who do not know what it's like to make sacrifices. Impossibility is nothing, they say. I'm going to make these words my motto. ( Read more... )

When did it become okay to just let me sit here and wait? My singing lesson started twenty minutes ago, and my teacher still hasn't shown up. I wonder if he has one of his "senior days off", (yeah, he's old.) or if the Alzheimers finally caught up on him. I'm  punctual, why can't he be? And if he had a day off, why didn't anybody tell me? Argh, the ( Read more... )

Things went well. I'm in debt, and I think I'm a bad person. A little. At least I admit it, that doesn't make me that bad, right? Now that's a paradox.

I wonder if I'll ever be a mommy.

All I saw was a white light.

[Enn - ær - sjii]
At first, when I entered the front door, I wanted to vomit. I ran into the bathroom and pursued my urge. (All though the lack of food made sure that the bile was the only fluid leaving my throat.) I cried so hard I couldn't breathe, and I felt a sudden need to lie on the floor and send funny noises into the void of the living room ( Read more... )