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fuck you for leaving me with these idiots
"It is like a great regal tree growing in the rocks and sand of barren wilderness. When the roots get water, the branches, leaves, flowers, and fruits will all flourish. The regal bodhi-tree growing in the wilderness of Birth and Death is the same. All living beings are its roots; all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas are its flowers and fruits. By ( Read more... ) -
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the last thing i want is to stay this alive for the rest of my god damn life ( Read more... ) -
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( kill me ) -
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consciousness is the sum result of many parts of the body all working in mirrored responses to each other-this loops and at times when we reflect on the reflection we as human being become 'self-aware' (which is of its self an oxymoron), but when certain parts click into old patterns, the whole phenomena of present consciousness is brought into ( Read more... ) -
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so i kissed her, it was a strange moment that ill not forget sometimes these things, these moments just float up from wherever my brain says shit like that should be fine, so it lies and i dont even think about it just leaned in close like it was some familiar lover and kissed her shoulder lightly without any hesitation, without thinking... the ( Read more... ) -
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yesterday morning i read a short story: 'The Dream of a Ridiculous Man' by Dostoyevsky, it bothered me because i feel it embodies something important in the modern OTO. there are separate currents, one much happier then then other... i dont like happy things im sorry i hate the happy thelemites, the hopeful ones- i hate them because there is ( Read more... ) -
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In the middle of life there is a daydream without time, before us a Creative Sigh that flows forward into imitations, the innumerable models of possible patterns that drown or thrive by the will of a Ceaseless Imagination; Behind us floats a million tails each coiled and tangled into moments of lives we were never truly invited into yet with each ( Read more... ) -
I am Alone
I am the luminous dew of our evening, I am the breathing air of our morning, I am the love of god for man hung upon the Noontime Sun of an endless Day. and as the promise of his light is hidden by the night i am the blanket of endless points, swinging over The Desert of Lonely Time- I remind you of the abandonment which is yet to be. I have become ( Read more... ) -
1-20-2010
on the 20th of January a brother and mentor of mine passed from this life for his failure to survive it ( Read more... ) -
conclusions to personal work with venus/eros, Part two: Mass!
We are called to The True Mass, not for the opiate that the act veils but that again the Rose of Man may taste the bee who we have bloomed for, that we might call our God out- not to play and be tickled while we Unite, but that the rose might be with the bee forever- our libido is just a joke, an absurdity saying bloom even if it pains you! even if ( Read more... )