Post-Garden State affirmations.


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So I was sitting in those Grove Pacific Theatres seats telekenisisisisising mental messages to the screen, "Come on, Garden State, come the fuck on, where is it? Where is my profound epiphany about, like, the meaning of life? Why are you denying this to me, you contrived piece of shit, and blessing so many others?! Oh! Oh, you're almost there! ( Read more... )

9/30/2004

You know how those who decide to post an entry after prolonged abscense always announce the self-important arrival of their words in trite, dramatic mantras? Well I guess mine would be here, but one escapes me at the moment.

------------------------------------------------------------------A few weeks ago, I got hot and sweaty in ( Read more... )

This is what parents with mid-life existentialist angst do, I thought. That was the only tangible reason I let myself buy into. I drove my mom each Wednesday to see a woman with a second rate law degree hand her papers to sign, ate lunches where the topic of discussion was always the exhilarating liberation she felt about how America no longer ( Read more... )

In my self-absorbed, maniacal social paranoia of freshman year, I always said that “For an Asian to be well-adjusted in college, he must either a) Join an Asian Frat, b) Be a Science major with other Science major friends to bitch about Chemistry, c) Be a fob with fob friends from the same country, d) Be an Asian activist, or e) JOIN A KOREAN ( Read more... )

Big Boy
by David Sedaris
from Me Talk Pretty One DayIT WAS EASTER SUNDAY IN CHICAGO, and my sister Amy and I were attending an afternoon dinner at the home of our friend John. The weather was nice, and he’d set up a table in the backyard so that we might sit in the sun. Everyone had taken their places, when I excused myself to visit the bathroom ( Read more... )

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I am retracting everything I ever said along the lines of "oh, Vietnam's just frontin' Socialism, its like, totally not." Because as I type this, the street below me is exploding with red flags and Communist hags. The way it's going, I will be severely disappointed if they don't bust out a huge Commie-decked Ho Chi Minh blimp that shits equal ( Read more... )

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Freshman year of college is SO over and I will miss the view:

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