i had some good thoughts when i was on the crapper. i forgot them now, though. oh well, maybe i'll remember later.

so my first real test. first fight with the madre. and obviously it would be about everything that has caused all the grief. the root of all the problems. this is where the control begins...hold it in, dont go off on her.

i've never seen this water so clean...so calm. if i had some type of digital camera or something i would have taken a picture for you guys. something's changing...and it's not what we all expect.

i want to say the last thing in the world i wanted to do was to come home. apparantly not, though, because hi, here i am. i put this off as long as possible, staying with leti and ashley all day and night. those ladies do it all, even tattoos, apparantly leti finally learned how to make one even ( Read more... )

thank You. thank you both, too. help her how You've helped me. and help her as well...if it takes me going to the ends of earth for it, i will. they are the two. the two plus You, that im forever in debt to.

so here i am. ok. so much to accept. i was headed in the right direction. im glad to know that i was smart enough to figure some things out by myself. so deep rooted. good to get things confirmed. hard to understand. in for the long haul.

yes, i've had this feeling after we talk before. this feeling of everything is ok now. this feeling of, i've resolved issues. it is different this time, though. we didnt talk about us. and i heard love in her voice. there's so much i realized about myself tonight. too much to put here. too much to maybe even explain over again. just know that im

i want to be chosen. it felt really good to have someone choose me above all the rest. i was the one. that feeling is unbeatable. no one chooses me. that feeling is .... i dont need a word to explain it. i've already said enough.

i'll never see that look in your eyes again. never feel your arms around me and feel blanketed in utter bliss. now when you do it, it's just utter relief. there's so much we still had ahead of us. yeah, we still do, but the tracks have switched and this path we've taken took a quick 90 degree turn, i cant even see the track we left behind anymore. ( Read more... )

still drunk. another night of less than 4 hours sleep and feeling like i got hit by a sledgehammer. another morning of silence and loneliness a feeling like i only have a pin prick...but straight through the heart.