all i have left to give is my life. i hope im not that giving. so much more. depressed as hell. somewhere around ...... lots........ amount of alcohol in me. drove home. dont care. life done. end this. cry all night. no one here. no one wants me. always the best friend. dead.

so for anyone who doesnt know...it's confirmed now. no more ucsb...no more baseball...just home. so all those times i just wished i could be home, came true. maybe i should have specified more. im sorry, im not strong enough to keep it in.

i reciprocate the curse to the one who cursed me to this ( Read more... )

i dont know if it's because it's something i need to work on about myself, or if it's normal. i hate this. this being alone. i just wish i had someone here with me all the time, to just hold me. to have some kind of comfort. the part that sucks is that i could have someone to hold me 23 hours and 59 minutes a day, but in that one minute i'll feel ( Read more... )

good start.

i just want you to know that i love you. and i just wish things could be back to how they were. i love you so much. so much. im over the hate, at least for now. i hope things get better for you.

it's horrible that the only reason im still here is because im afraid of hell. couldnt have worse reasoning.

watch out for my flailing arms as you carry my lifeless body ( Read more... )

i wonder if the pilot can handle that turbulance. i've never felt a plane jump so much.

expect even more by the end of today

i need someone.....anyone. someone tell me they're here for me. i dont care who. just mean it.

these hurdles grow higher and higher after every turn. there is strength buried deep within me, saved for moments like these...buried deep within You. my search will not be derailed by any rock, river, tree, or mountain. i will find truth.