I’m in nor cal right now about to play a game at Humboldt State, and I want to go home so so badly. We had an embarrassing loss to Sonoma last night, and I was very sad. I text Ryan last night on the bus ride up to Humboldt to tell him about the game and how it made me sad. He asked me why and I told him it was a bunch of stuff that built up but ( Read more... )

I'm at a point in my life where I really don't know where I'm going to be in sixth months. I'm not even sure I know where I want to be. The past feels like a blur, and the future seems even fuzzier. And then I get jealous when I see someone like Ryan, who actually goes out in life instead of waiting to get what he wants, and just makes it happen ( Read more... )

I was in Nor Cal this weekend, and it never fails to surprise me how much different it feels to be up north vs. being in LA. It was refreshing to be close to home, even though I never saw home. I did get a taste of it though. Ryan came to watch me play in San Francisco and brought his friend Dustin with him. I had talked to Dustin on the phone ( Read more... )

So far I've been struggling a little with my resolutions. But they are a working progress I suppose...they are on my mind daily though; especially my number one resolution. However, just recently there has been an interesting turn of events that just may help me to get over Ryan ( Read more... )

It's the start of a new year, and I want it so badly to go better than the way last year went. The end of my 2007 was not nearly as exciting as the end of my 2006. I did go out but it was just across from my dorm at the boy’s basketball dorm where they had a party. It wasn’t fun. One minute before midnight I ran up the stairs to watch the ball ( Read more... )

Well it’s Christmas. And it’s so nice to be home. It seemed like it took forever to get here, and now Christmas is almost over. I got home around 10pm on the 22nd. I walked in the house and found my mom baking cookies in the kitchen and the whole house decorated. Dad came in from the office to give me a hug and I could hear Izzy strumming his ( Read more... )

Once again, disappointment is nothing new. Ryan didn’t come this weekend. I knew it was a long shot, but I feel like he didn’t even make the effort, which hurts more than him not being able to make it. Why tell me you might come to visit when you don’t even try? I didn’t ask him about it all week and after the game Saturday I thought I should ( Read more... )

I was just minding my own business last night, just relaxing and watching a movie when I got a text from Ryan ( Read more... )

I hate my life right now. There is just so much drama going on with my team I can't even keep up anymore. From my lesbo teammates fucking each other to girls coming into practice still drunk from the night before, I don't know if this year or last year was worse. At least last year I wasn't punished by my coach for other people's mistakes. ( Read more... )

I haven't made up my mind yet, that is, I can't decide if I like or despise life right now. The pessimist in me thinks that life pretty much sucks sweaty balls right now. Let me explain why ( Read more... )