That's how I feel. D goes back to work tomorrow and I'm not ready for his vacation to be over. I'm selfish AND scared and wish that we had more time together. I know it hasn't been super crazy fun times for him the whole time... I'm a mess. But he's been super supportive, loving, and kind and I don't know how to do it alone. I know it could be ( Read more... )

I miss my puppy a lot today and my health still sucks ( Read more... )

Tomorrow my husband and I are going to get semicolon tattoos because reasons. I've never gotten a tattoo and I am a little scared, but the reasons for getting one are bigger than my fears... I think.

Lost in the silence, the lack is killing me.
I swirl, run, twitch, spin...
Fall.
Scared. Alone, but surrounded.
I fail.
Stop.

My newest addition to the medication family seems to be helping and I am quite a bit more calm than I was. Downside? (Yes, there is one...) I am consistently looking for a way to be "up". What I mean is that I have been running on adrenaline for so long that I don't know how to function calmly. Inner calm isn't something that I am used to. I am ( Read more... )

I've been through a lot this last year... I'm not going to go into great details yet, but I already suffer with anxiety and depression and now I get to add agitated depression to the mix of suck. (Look it up and you'll have some idea of how horrific it is.) I'm taking a new medication that seems to help keep the episodes to a minimum, but one of ( Read more... )

Is to have ALL THE FEELS *OR* no feels at all... Can I have a middle ground? Fuck. Please?!?!

And I don't even remember who most people are... Of course, people like perclexed, rhiannonhero, khakitrousersand a couple of others, I absolutely know, but I don't want to fuck with all the shit that I can fuck with in order to be able to post in a safer environment. If you're still here, and you know me IRL, please respond and give me a hint as to who you are so that I don't get ( Read more... )

I don't like how I'm feeling today... I'm numb and there's an almosy palpable "blank"ness. That might not make any sense... Don't care. Maybe I'm so used to feeling ALL the feels, that this is scary... Maybe this is what "normal" is supposed to be like. But... I don't think so. I think this is more the quiet before another fucking storm. I don't ( Read more... )

We made a plan, dammit! We were going to sleep in, but noooooo! I woke up at 6:30 to pee and couldn't go back to sleep. Sadface... Today should be good anyway. I have to work for a bit this morning and then it's nap time, but tonight my husband and I are going to the Mercury to go dancing! We even bought costumes! With the exception of some friends ( Read more... )