I havent written in so long. Well my mom susposidly went to detox and then to a 30 day. she never made it to the 30 day. But I moved in with paula, everything was great, but i had to come up with pain meds for someone to make so money. I took some methadose from Paula's mom, we took 5 each and then Paula got sick and went to the hospital while i ( Read more... )

I called one of paula's other freinds now...I am so over matt. He just wasn't worth it. But the new guy John is so cool. But we'll never go out..ya know why? guess. He likes PAULA!! everyone likes paula. But that's ok, i think we'll be really good freinds. Today we went over to Buds and hung out with Arin. Bud, David, Chris , Zac and Joey. But ( Read more... )

Today at school this guy Mike asked me what happened to my arms and b4 I could lie he said" and don't u dare tell me u have cats" then he told me about his sister and this big old boo hoo story. Y can't ppl mind their own fucking business! I came home today and mom was still drinking. I didn't cut though. I'm thinkning of thratening her." every day ( Read more... )

Mom is drinking again. The whole low sugar thing was a crock of shit. It was a cover. When someone is lying to their family in order to drink it really is a problem. But no surprise I cut again. Worse than I ever have before. all the wa up to my shoulder, deep. there was all this blood in the bathtub. I realize if u clean the wounds right away ( Read more... )

Jen Bono Died yesterday. IN a car accident. I felt that if I took some of the families pain and then cut it out it would all be better...sounded like a good idea at the time. I couldn't stop cutting and i had to go to the hospital and get sitches. sean used to go out with her. i don't even know what to write.

Mom got picked up last night for a DUI. We had to borrow money for bond. We didn't have the money to get the car back so we have to borrow more. We have no money. I can't belive she realpsed. I was so upset I cut again. That's twice in the same week. I can't do this nemore. Then I found out Keith was drinking in the garage. He of all peopel to ( Read more... )

Today I went to the skate park with Stephanie and Mark and MAtt. Matt is gorgeous! he has the most beautiful eyes! He a little small but he is so cute. I wanted to kiss him so bad..this is the kinda thing I need..I'm so happy.
*~*CLAIRE*~*

So Paula and Mark are setting me up with their freind matt who prolly thinks I'm the pathetic girl who tags along with paula coz I can't get a date. I really ehish she hadn't made me go o the beach with them. But I called him and he is really cool. I have dry spells then all the sudden all these great guys appear in my life. Zac is almost a ( Read more... )

So Paula and Mark are setting me up with their freind matt who prolly thinks I'm the pathetic girl who tags along with paula coz I can't get a date. I really ehish she hadn't made me go o the beach with them. But I called him and he is really cool. I have dry spells then all the sudden all these great guys appear in my life. Zac is almost a ( Read more... )

This weekend stephanie and I slept over at Paula's and friday night we walked up to bud's house and got realyl drunk on Jackie's Bacardi. Bud was being alll fatherly-good example like and didn't drink. But if David wasn't egging me on I wouldn't have drank so much. I drank alot and it finally hit me while I tried to go down the stairs. Paula is ( Read more... )