-
Sleep, my fickle friend, where have you gone now?
It is 4am. I am not sleeping. I thought I was doing much better. More time is needed ( Read more... ) -
It's not okay
What makes him think it is okay to come up and talk to me when I am so obviously ignoring him. Yet, I can't resist his face. Always such a struggle. I should just sit back and enjoy the ride ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Ah. Drama has become death. Silly silly silliness. I'm not speaking to him for as long as I can possibly keep it up. I need that space in my head back, and I just can't be around him right now. Perhaps when he comes back from his travels, I will have my unwravelling wravelled up again. Time will tell ( Read more... ) -
Hmmmmm
Well, back to Facebook dramaland. Yeah. No drama for this momma. I limited one friend, and another unfriended me. Too much drama. Apparently the unfriended one thinks I'm a tart, a bad mother, and a stalker. The other is being a jerk in real life. It is a sad day to lose 2 "friends". So, no Facebook for a while. I love my other friends, and I will ( Read more... ) -
So guilty
I feel so incredibly guilty. I should have stopped, but I couldn't. You looked so forlorn, and lonely, framed in your picture window, a portrait for the world to see. I drove by and there you were. I was writing and couldn't have borne the weight of the words. You were there. I didn't stop. Please forgive me. I think you push me away when you need ( Read more... ) -
The screaming must stop
Inside my head, I'm screaming at him. Seriously screaming. Full voice. I just want to talk with you. Talk with me. Play your music for me if you can't use words. It is so hard to be your friend when you won't step outside your happy metal box. He places these walls that were not there before. Are you in agony as I was? Do you want me and not know ( Read more... ) -
earth is good
I want to bury myself deep in the earth. A seed, cocooned inside my shell, until it is time for me to burst forth in beauty. I want to shut it all out and soak up the life force of the rich soil, the water which reaches me from the heavens, seeking out my tiny body, soaking me until I can no longer live as a tiny pre-life. I want to burst through ( Read more... ) -
3am, we have to stop meeting like this; I'd rather be sleeping with you
It is once again 3am and I am awake. Frell. I've actually been awake for an hour. Horrid, honestly. My heart has been aching for all that time. What a powerful force is the human heart. The human mind is always mightier, just not as influential. How do I tell my heart to deny what it wants most? How do I overcome that which haunts my heart and ( Read more... ) -
Writer's Block: Confidences
It is most certainly not family. Friends and strangers each have their place, and get different details. I appreciate the friends who really listen, and the strangers who feel they have more freedom to critique and solve my problems. -
Chakras
My heart feels like it is breaking. My crown, spleen, and root have been driving me crazy. I think my heart chakra is getting in on the action. I can't decide if I'm working my way back to balance, or far far from it. My throat chakra may be trying to join the craziness as well ( Read more... )