I turned-I turned away my head because I didn't want you to see me
like this.The perfume's not yet worn off, honeysuckle and gardenia sweetly sick and delicate. It's a tangle from which you can't get free; your mind is a maze
( ... )
Re: Fic: my skin is not my own (rated PG-13 for implications of sexin')workerbee73August 6 2012, 22:46:44 UTC
Oooooooooooooooh, tell me more! I was concentrating on the face value of this being something that was for her only, for her benefit and because she needed it, even though at first she thought he was doing it b/c he wanted it.
But I'm liking your brain much better. TELL ME MORE.
Re: Fic: my skin is not my own (rated PG-13 for implications of sexin')workerbee73August 6 2012, 22:56:18 UTC
I think you're right. I think it's a huge step in the reclamation process for her. Also.... I think the moment when she kisses him (and I can't quite place it in the chronology yet), but I strongly suspect that's the moment she falls in love with him. Like well and truly in love. And finally she gets to the same place he was in 'between shadow and soul'.
Incidentally, I also see the moment described in your poem as being right before her first solo mission-- quite possibly the last one they had together before the events in 'your heart is an open book'.
((and please don't try and talk me out of it b/c i'm kind of in love with that idea))
Re: Fic: my skin is not my own (rated PG-13 for implications of sexin')workerbee73August 6 2012, 23:38:45 UTC
Reread it. And yep, I stand by my conclusion. As for him not being aware of the thoughts, I think he is aware on a subconscious level but-- here's my theory-- the voice talking in 'your killing floor' isn't Clint per se. It's something that lives inside of him, something that's been tamped down too long, something that's struggling to come out. I read that whole poem as something between a prayer and a maniacal laugh; he's coming apart from the inside and that;s what leads to the event sin 'your heart.'
At this point she doesn't requite anything, she wants only the sex and the violence (which he is more than willing to provide), but he can't reconcile the sex and the violence with himself.
Re: Fic: my skin is not my own (rated PG-13 for implications of sexin')workerbee73August 6 2012, 23:45:29 UTC
**deep sigh of relief**
I dunno dude, somehow thinking of it that way-- it makes all kind of sense for how fucked up he is in the next three fics. That's how I always imagined his headspace after bait/switch, after this starts to become a habit, and I just--
Re: Fic: my skin is not my own (rated PG-13 for implications of sexin')workerbee73August 6 2012, 22:44:33 UTC
you keep breaking me.
Mission accomplished. :)
This all came out of this conversation last night in the aftermath of sugar's 'lost in these woods' when she posited the question of what Clint's ritual for Natasha would be after a mission to bring her back down (when the storytelling was what she did for him).
Bob's poem for this verse is posted here.
**********************
I turned-I turned away my head because I didn't want you to see
me
like this.The perfume's not yet worn off, honeysuckle and gardenia sweetly sick and delicate. It's a tangle from which you can't get free; your mind is a maze ( ... )
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All of it.
<3333333333333333333333
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Still reeling from your poem, btw. Gah.
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But I'm liking your brain much better. TELL ME MORE.
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Incidentally, I also see the moment described in your poem as being right before her first solo mission-- quite possibly the last one they had together before the events in 'your heart is an open book'.
((and please don't try and talk me out of it b/c i'm kind of in love with that idea))
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cold meds do boggle the brain sometimes. (along with you)
((!!!!!))
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At this point she doesn't requite anything, she wants only the sex and the violence (which he is more than willing to provide), but he can't reconcile the sex and the violence with himself.
Too much?
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I dunno dude, somehow thinking of it that way-- it makes all kind of sense for how fucked up he is in the next three fics. That's how I always imagined his headspace after bait/switch, after this starts to become a habit, and I just--
I love it. I just... gah.
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Mission accomplished. :)
This all came out of this conversation last night in the aftermath of sugar's 'lost in these woods' when she posited the question of what Clint's ritual for Natasha would be after a mission to bring her back down (when the storytelling was what she did for him).
convo/meta:
http://be-compromised.livejournal.com/60569.html?thread=1587097#t1587097
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