I'm surprisingly ok with not speaking to Tom. I think maybe because this time I made the decision not to talk to him and not the other way around. I thought it would bother me more than it is. Instead I just feel relieved. I wish him well and I hope he finds whatever it is he's looking for, but I can't help him anymore so I'll just bow out and take ( Read more... )

its going to be the death of me, looking through pictures trying to determine if he likes her, how much he likes her, does she like him back. Why do I even care?

Today would have been 3 years with Tom. All I've been thinking about is our relationship all day, I didn't realize it would be this difficult to get through today. Everything I'm thinking of has been a good memory, and there's a lot of them. I needed to reflect and I was torn if I should talk to him today, I decided to text him and just let him ( Read more... )

I'm sorry no one should control your every thought- no one. I don't buy all this bullshit. Get over yourself, get over me, I'm not that great, I never was. Being a baby about everything and bitching and pretending to be pissed at me and the dumb away messages to get my attention, you're better than that. I know that, I just wish you did.

I love how you have this and don't care. I love how you say "death is a natural part of life" I love you much you love to worry me and make me cry. Why don't you just go get tested to make sure its gone? Its all over the news, I know you're scared, I know you are just trying to be brave and pretend nothings wrong. I need you to be ok, I need you ( Read more... )

ok well since my last post i've had a breakdown and rebuilding. Tom and I talked for the 1st time, face to face since we broke up. It was awkard at first until I made myself very clear in my intentions, then we were able to move on. We're going to try to be friends, I don't know how well it will work, but I know I'm ready to be his friend if he's ( Read more... )

today my dad told me how he really felt about my decision in the whole Tom situation, I'm so glad one of my parents is on my side. My dad has been kinda silent on the whole thing and my mom has been very vocally against the whole decision. It was so nice to spend a weekend just watching football with my dad and not having to talk about Tom. Until I ( Read more... )

why does this feel like vacation more that real life? Why can't I get you out of my head? I keep trying to move on, get over it, get my life back, but I can't help sneaking thoughts of you, tucking them away in a hidden corner of my mind until they pop up again. Everything reminds me of you ( Read more... )

Change;
we don't like it,
we fear it,
but we can't stop it from coming.

We either adapt to change or we get left behind,
and it hurts to grow,
and anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying.

But here's the truth;
the more things change, the more they stay the same,

and sometimes, sometimes...change is good.

Sometimes, change is

i really wish I were different and I understood who I was better. I wish I was ready. I wish alot of things, I'm so sorry, but I just need some time...