why is it when i want to do something for me everyone throws a fit? why can't they just let me do something for myself everynow and then. it hurts alot to know your family is against you and thinks your pathedic ( Read more... )

this time has been the worst sisnce he left for for two months last july. he is only gone for a nother month and I get to see him again but i can't deal with this anymore ( Read more... )

you know that you can call me whenever you need to. I really think people just think i'm saying this to be nice but i'm not. I"m saying this because it's true. if your haveing a shit day call me. if your sad or mad about something call me. IF YOU FEEL LONELY!!!!!!!!! CALL ME!!! depending on where you are i'll come right to you. imean if your in ( Read more... )

why is it that i'm so scared of everything? why do i always see the worst in things and events but the best in people? why do i read to much in to a stupid remark but not enough in a blunt comment? why do I (at times) not realize I have the best thing in the world, but i find my self making "colin excuses" for a boy i don't even know ( Read more... )

i need someone to sleep with me ( Read more... )

this weekend was crazy. so much went wrong and i didn't know what to do. we were so late to thanksgiving that by the time we got there everyone had eaten, so there was like nothing left, not that I eat much but still, He does. so it was kinda weird, i just didn't want to be there this year. see my grandparents and my tunte switch every year for ( Read more... )

He drowns in his dreams An exquisite extreme, I know He's as damned as he seems And more heaven than a heart could hold If I tried to save him My whole world could cave in It just ain't right, it just ain't right [chorus] Oh and I don't know I don't know what he's after But he's so beautiful Such a beautiful disasterAnd if I could hold on ( Read more... )

im in jersey, which is why i've been MIA.just the normal trip central park movies with josie, visiting Nat all that jazz
so thats whats been up love you and miss you i'm gonna go have sex now byes

so this past week i've had dreams i've been having sex. no not with Fernando either. the first one was some guy, i didn't know who he was be we had sex, then it was a guy I work with Nate, then it was this other guy I work with brandon,( who really is Colin come to life in a nother human being) then there was the times before when I gave Fernando' ( Read more... )

there are times I wish we could go back. go back before all the fights and before the end. i wish I could still talk to you and figure out what i could do to fix it. i mean I know what happen and how it broke but there is still a part of me that wants us to be ok ( Read more... )