I need to get out of New Jersey, this state is a little too toxic for me, I'm convinced it twists my head everytime I'm here. People have been shoving the truth in my face lately. I don't know what they want anymore. Do you want me to split open so you all can see what I'm made of? What is going on inside my head? Let me know if you can see ( Read more... )

I think I cleared the air on some of the drama in my life tonight. For the first time in a long time I was really honest with a few people and let a lot out. My walls were already down so I decided to take a risk and lay all the cards out. I feel a lot better about things. Life is starting to look up after a pretty rough week. I just have to ( Read more... )

I'm tired. Like the to the bones drained and worn out kind of tired. Life is exausting me right now, there is too much drama. I'm not made for drama and games, they just eat away at me. Right now so much of my life is up in the air, it is slightly unnerving. I don't have an escape plan because I don't really have any plans. I can't stay in this ( Read more... )

I just got threatened with being kicked out again. Strike two. My mom and I spent most of the day fighting over nothing and my dad being silent about everything. Both are very common situations. I told my mom that I've been spending a lot of time away from the house so we won't fight as much. Tonight my dad told me if I don't apologize and do ( Read more... )

The east coast is getting it's first taste of winter this weekend. The weather reminds me of Juneau in February; blowing snow, sideways freezing rain, layers of ice over everything. It's nasty. The wind is so bad the building is shaking. I don't spend a lot of storms on Long Beach Island, so it's probably worse down here than it is at my parent ( Read more... )

I haven't written anything in a long time because I can't find the right words anymore. I can't write now and haven't been able to for a bit. Life is strange, a million things are always running through my mind. I feel I am stuck in the Badlands where I can't find the path that leads to the next step. I feel llike I have dropped off the face of ( Read more... )

Androgynous
You scored 76 masculinity and 63 femininity! You scored high on both masculinity and femininity. You have a strong personality exhibiting characteristics of both traditional sex roles.
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I think I hit my breaking point, I hope I did because I don't want to go through it again. I have had so, so many emotions running through my head and finally it all got to be too much. Last night I sat in the kitchen and broke down, it hurt, and so much more to be alone. I hate being alone. I feel sad, hurt, scared, angry, happy, alone, ect. ( Read more... )

Aaron left on thursday night. He is going back to Illinois for college or whatever happens. It's been a hard few days, I can't believe he is gone, I don't think it has quite set in yet. My apartment seems so bare and cold, it doesn't feel llike home anymore. I haven't really spent much time in the cube by myself yet. That is good and bad. I ( Read more... )