well there is this guy that i really like and we are like really good friends. ive asked him out like about 3 times but every time he said the same thing. I really like you but I'm afraid of what will happen when we break up. I've had a crush on him for about a year and a half. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep thinking about him and then my dreams are always with him. I just wish he could give me a chance.
my first impression usually isn;t a good one. ppl say im quiet and it's hard for me to open up to ppl i dont know. sometimes i wonder if i have an real friends who truely care for me. consdiering most ppl at my school are fake. about my family life, well most ppl would think it's pretty normal. but my parents fight constantly, i wish they would just divorc already and get it over with. they say they are staying for me, but i could give a shit. i wonder sometimes if my mom even likes me at all. she thinks im wird and 'melencoly & never happy' whatever the fuck that means, maybe im just not happy when im with her. i've come pretty close to vutting myself, the only thing keeping me from it is my severe fear of blood. it's actually really odd. ever since i was little and i get a shot or see blood i would faint. im anemic and at one point was anorexic, not i have ednos. im trying to be healthy and get my life together, but its hard. i want to be loved. luckily i have one friend who i can relate to so much. i hope she really cares about me
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It is a burdon to have an e.d. No food. No pleasure in eating the foods you love. Having to struggle because you want the food and sometimes binging on them and gaining even more weight. It is a challenge and a fight and it is challenging and it hurts. It also bends your emotions when you eat; your emotions are based on what you ate, How many calories you had or the fact that you ate period. It is not a trend you go and share with all your friends openly as to gain some attention from. It is not something you decide to have overnight and then call yourself an anorexic just because you a:Have a fast metabolism or b:Are natrually skinny to begin with.It is a horrible disease/disorder that alot of people are stuck with and it KILLS me to see some of you use it for your "reputation". IT IS NOT A DIET. Go on Atkins; Or a REAL diet. People with e.d's CANT STOP THEYRE DISORDERS.... and the truth is they dont want to. Anorexia is a secret. You have to constantly lie and isolate yourself because you are afraid of food and calories.You have to
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ok... BITCH, listen up... anorexia like you said IS A PERSINOL THING dont you think that somepeople instead of you might have an ed. i mean yes, i do, a diagnosed ed, ednos to be exact, along with clinical depression... so, i think by comming here and denying people of getting something out is fucked. you also DONT know anyone here, since its all anonymous (witch is probly another reason people are speeking freely of there problem) if you would like to make a persinol attak on people try showing yourself! another thing, you stated: You have to constantly lie. implying that your not free speach on the subject, yet you just went on about ur own fucking problems. maybe someone else commenting on this page to get shit out IS INDEED COMPLETLY ANA OR MAYBE MIA... maybe your the one who looks like a complete RETARD, oh wait, you do! so yeah, if youd like to comment back WITH your e-mail or im i'll be happy to hit you up on it. okkie dookie! thx
I didnt say ALL of you didnt have ed's. i didnt mean to be a bitch but clearly, you did. You missunderstood. On almost every comment someone wrote something about wanting to be thin. But anorexia will not help you do that. I meant that if you wanted to loose like 10 pounds join a gym and eat healthy. Im sorry if i offended you in anyway but what i wrote was right. I dont doubt that you have anorexia because you say youve been diagnosed but for the people who are looking to loose a couple pounds, get up and do it. The right way.
im sry, i miss judged you, completly. it wasnt my intention to be a bitch, but i was upset, and hurt. i put myself in the place of the girls you were refering too and thought what if someone was saying that to me... there SO wrong. but anyways. do you know chelsey, because if you do, im sure i know you too, i would love to talk to you. if so leave me ur e-mail or something PLEASE
i always had the kind of life that was perfect to someone looking in but everything but to me looking out. when i was 5 i would stay up late so i could say good night to my dad who would come home late. every night though he would home home with a different woman. he was and still is married to my mom though, she was out working. i remember him telling me to go into my room and play with my toys but i could still hear everything that was going on. he still cheats on my mom. by 6th grade though i really started to understand what was going on and i became annorexic. my dad lost all patience with me. my sister started taking drugs and then it all became too much, my dad started betting and we lost everything we had. we were going to move to the projects untill he got a job across the country, in LA. so my dad left my mom sister and i and came to LA, probably mostly becuase my sister was using drugs and i was loosing way too much weight
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i;ve never wanted to die so much as i do now. my whole pathetic existence is just now hitting me. that butcher knife is 2 feet away, and i cant help thinking... should i get it
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listen up... anorexia like you said IS A PERSINOL THING dont you think that somepeople instead of you might have an ed. i mean yes, i do, a diagnosed ed, ednos to be exact, along with clinical depression... so, i think by comming here and denying people of getting something out is fucked. you also DONT know anyone here, since its all anonymous (witch is probly another reason people are speeking freely of there problem) if you would like to make a persinol attak on people try showing yourself! another thing, you stated: You have to constantly lie. implying that your not free speach on the subject, yet you just went on about ur own fucking problems. maybe someone else commenting on this page to get shit out IS INDEED COMPLETLY ANA OR MAYBE MIA... maybe your the one who looks like a complete RETARD, oh wait, you do!
so yeah, if youd like to comment back WITH your e-mail or im i'll be happy to hit you up on it.
okkie dookie!
thx
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i didnt mean to be a bitch but clearly, you did. You
missunderstood. On almost every comment someone wrote something about
wanting to be thin. But anorexia will not help you do that. I meant that if you wanted to loose like 10 pounds join a gym and eat healthy. Im sorry if i offended you in anyway but what i wrote was right. I dont doubt that you have anorexia because you say youve been diagnosed but for the people who are looking to loose a couple pounds, get up and do it. The right way.
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