Oh why cant I be what you need 
A new improved version of me
But i'm nothing so good
No i'm nothing
Just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
Of violence of love and of sorrow 
I beg for just one more tomorrow
Where you hold me down fold me in
Deep deep deep in the heart of your sins...

I never have to take another Bio or English class ever again

That is all.

I was offered Starbucks at work tonight by the Pharmacist. They normally don't like me. I guess they are coming to terms with the idea of me being their manager.

I had to call out of Borders tomorrow morning to pee in a cup tomorrow for my manager promotion at CVS.

They think I have food poisoning.

I have my interview with the DM Sunday

I have ( Read more... )

Today was hard. I haven't written in here in a while, because well, I guess I just didn't need to. I've been writing in my journal at home. I had such a hard time on Valentine's Day. It's still hard, even after all these years gone by to know that I can't call up Josh and ask him stupid questions. Its hard to understand that hes gone for now. Not ( Read more... )

How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself ( Read more... )

I can breathe today. I don't feel cluttered and claustrophobic. In its place I feel calm, collected, and satisfied. Not satisfied in every way I would like to be, but satisfied more than I feel even at the best of times.

Im sititng in the computer chair in my bathrobe, and my hair is dripping, creating a dark wet spot on the back of the chair, and ( Read more... )

On the way to school this morning, I had a very interesting revelation. Ironically enough, the revelation happened while I was driving on Brookville road listening to Country music... hehe. So anyway, there are 3 or 4 houses that are being constructed on Brookville Road, and a few on the roads that run off it, and they have been building them since ( Read more... )

And you will live alone with your chemicals and gin...

Im melting...deep into the smooth grayish grout lines. Someone close the door.

Make me a promise of forever. Forever for what? When? How is there even time....

1. My name is Amanda. It means Worthy of Love, but sometimes I don't believe it.
2. My middle name is Elizabeth. It means Gods Oath. Im not even sure I believe in him/her.
3. Im 19, but I swear sometimes I feel so much older.
4. I'm extremely shy, and sometimes its mistaken for being a bitch.
5. Nobody understands me the way I need them to. Only 2 ( Read more... )

So I haven't written in this thing in a while, partly because I dont have the time, and partly because I don't give a fuck about writing in here anymore.  I don't give a fuck about alot of things right now to be honest.

I guess school is good. I mean I love Post. The campus is amazingly beautiful, and the people there are very friendly, but when ( Read more... )