LJ Idol Season What?!, Week 1 - "Jayus"

[beautyofgrey]

At the stoplight
the belt on my car
--the one I took to be fixed yesterday--
begins to squeal again.

First a light
whiffle whifflebeneath the hum of the heater

Comments

[shutterbug]

I felt you. I was sitting in the car with you just now. This is wonderful.

And die, winter, die!

[talon]

<3

[beautyofgrey]

♥

[kehlen]

I giggled first, because I did not believe all of this really happened all at once... they I read the comments and thought that maybe it did.

Whether it did or not, I enjoyed the poem (and hope it did not).

[beautyofgrey]

Sadly, this is about a true event. I have an old car and I really hate ice/winter storms. (Maybe I imagined some of the reactions of the other people, but given the unholy squeal the belt is making, maybe not.)

And thank you. :)

[mallorys_camera]

Well done. I like the juxtaposition of the formal meter with the subject (automobile disasters). Also really like your last stanza.

[beautyofgrey]

Thank you! ♥

[bleodswean]

Nicely crafted. The poetic form elevates the day-to-day.

[beautyofgrey]

Thank you. I love poetry, even though many Idolers don't, because it's meditative for me to slow down and look at the world around me and just...bask, so to speak. :)