I feel the new year should probably be one of the happiest and well I wish it was. I'm completely heartbroken. This should be the happiest time for me, I started dating Irfan 3 years ago today and I now find it and the past few months to be unhappy and dragged out. I'm falling out of love so quickly. I hate being in same room as Irfan and or his ( Read more... )

Sometimes I feel really odd...most of the time I feel like I'm missing something but for the first time in a while I feel semi whole.

I feel so awkward with everything. My family is getting all messed up and I hate talking about that because i think it always looks like my fault but maybe that's because i'm blamed for everything. Everything I think is the right thing to do doesn't seem to be right nad I feel so odd about everything most days. I've climbed into a little balll and ( Read more... )

I hate everything right now.

I think so far everything I could do that didn't involve spending money that I wanted to get done i did. Now my other goals for 2005 are:

- To finsh school
- Have my drivers license
- To not be with Irfan

that reall yall I want to acomplish because I'm pretty content with everything else

I want so many things right now but the money and the time do any of these things isn't avaliable right now. I feel really uneasy right now I just want to figure things out. I'm so confused and my moods and thoughts change so rapidly. i don't know whta to do. I feel like I'm writing the same entry over and over again but using diffrent words I ( Read more... )

I'm really starting to believe that I don't like to be calm. I mean Irfan and I were getting along really good for a good few weeks and now I'm getting all odd again where I don't want to spent too much time with him. I don't want to fall back too Ryan even though i'm happy most there i can't handle him doing E. It really bothers me I mean drugs in ( Read more... )

This may be a long post I just have a lot on my mind and I keep most of it in because I feel liek I have to tell everyone I know if I do choose to open up. I'm going to let you in on the factthat most of this will be me complain about someone or something so if you don't like wainey post leave I'm just frausted with a lot in my life and I need to ( Read more... )

I honestly think things have been better now then they have been in awhile. I mean yes this has been the most frusrating period of my life but I think it's alos been one of the happiest. I don't feel so relied on by my boyfriend i think it's a first but it's probably because I don't have one any more and I'm just seeing someone but it's not the ( Read more... )

Sometimes people make me feel very unwanted or like i"m not important but I am damnit!