it is in the way you're running down this tunnel ( Read more... )

with my feet in the air, and my head on the ground ( Read more... )

fuck up, make a resolution not to. fuck up, make a resolution not to. the greeks said hell was a place of remorse and remembering, but it looks like i don't have to make that long journey down, i'm creating my own hell right here. i know the solution. i'm learning to sit still. but i need to catch it before i'm on my way already. because by then, ( Read more... )

imagine that; being well adjusted and content. happy with yourself and your head is quiet most of the time. imagine that you never wanted to touch it again and imagine that he loved you the way he did in the beginning. imagine that you weren't living in fear all of the time. imagine that you felt like you could conquer your misgivings and ( Read more... )

something draws me to it. i hate it, i hate it and i don't want to be near it or around it. i hate it so much. i never want to do it again, and then i do it again. it makes me feel okay. like my world is okay. like i am okay. i am normal. like i am well adjusted. god, it has such a fucking hold on me.

tomorrow i'm going to wake up and go to court and smile really nicely and pull up my sleeves for them and show them both sides of my neck and let them compare it to pictures and smile again once they're satisfied and have my case dismissed ( Read more... )

i just need to get through today, tomorrow, thursday and court on friday. that's all.

it's scary swimming in my pool at night because i keep imagining jaws or the kid from "the unborn" grabbing my legs

on another note,
i have revived my deep, deep adoration and respect for tomato juice

someone should capitalize on my pain

so what if some twisted addict part of me misses waking up sick and missioning to get well ( Read more... )