This again!

Sep 21, 2011 16:28

Over the last couple of days, I have found myself back in a really negative place with tumblr. ( more on my eternal battle with the good in tumblr vs the bad in tumblr! )

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Comments 22

katmillia September 21 2011, 21:31:52 UTC
you know, sometimes you just have to step back. i finally just rage-quit fandom and i feel a lot better for it, because some things are just cesspools of crap that is just angry people with nowhere to channel their negativity except for anonymously on the internet. i don't track anything on tumblr, which is probably why i just reblog cute pictures and funny game fanart, haha, so for me, tumblr is kind of my salvation to lj fandom, that drove me to the edge of not even wanting to be on the internet anymore.

but you do what you gotta do. you shouldn't ever be in something where you don't like the person you become in it. ♥ ♥ i think it's healthy to want to move away from that feeling.

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beckerbell September 21 2011, 21:38:26 UTC
I suspect it's really hard to quit things like this, because the rages are really rageful, but the highs are really high, too. I'm focusing on livejournal and already I feel a bit of that, "Hey, why aren't there five new posts on my flist? It's been half an hour! Move faster than that, internet!!" and that speed can be addicting, especially when you're on your first rush of OMG LOOK AT ALL THE CUTE POSTS FOR THIS FANDOM THAT EXISTS NOWHERE ELSE! And I hate feeling left out.

But, ugh. I'm so tired of not actually liking half of the people on tumblr! And it's impossible to avoid them, even with tumblr savior! There's so much good on tumblr, but there's so much bad and it's kind of driving me to not want to be on the internet right now. (But, then, I'm not in a great space right now ( ... )

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katmillia September 21 2011, 21:41:31 UTC
WHAT WHY HAVEN'T YOU FINISHED CHRONO TRIGGER

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP READING THIS COMMENT AND PLAY IT IMMEDIATELY. I AM SO MUCH LESS IMPORTANT THAN THE HOLIEST OF ALL HOLY THINGS CHRONO TRIGGER lmao lmao

maybe it's just your head right now? you can sort of step back and see if it gets better. the nice thing is that the internet allows you to do that. :))) you can just turn the computer off. ♥ i hope it does get better, though, since i know how much you like certain aspects of it.

p.s. oh yes. i have never been in a fandom so hateful, selfish, and self-entitled as this fandom. i finally just threw my hands up and was like eff this, i quit. it's not worth it.

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beckerbell September 21 2011, 21:50:17 UTC
I WAS TERRIBLE AT IT. I DO NOT REALLY UNDERSTAND THIS CONCEPT OF LINING THE ENEMIES UP AND THERE WAS SO MUCH PRESSURE AND AND AND ( ... )

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blackmagie September 21 2011, 22:00:09 UTC
Sometimes you just need a break. I'm pretty scarce on the journalling platform (DW for me) these days and I scaled back on Tumblr too. Right now I'm on Twitter but I use twitter in a completely different way? I think these things come and go with my moods and circumstances and I think that's okay.

I admit that with tumblr, I tend not to read long text posts. ^^; I scroll past unless it's a fandom-related post and even then, if a quick skim tells me it's critique meta versus positive meta for a fandom I don't want to hear negative things about, I scroll past. I just want pretty pictures, lulzy macros and gifs.

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beckerbell September 21 2011, 23:11:18 UTC
I especially need a break during times of cramping and the end of September, when the anniversary of my nephew's death is around the corner and tumblr's being a bunch of assholes. It all sort of culminated for me today, but, hey! At least I didn't just delete everything this time! A hiatus is much better. XD

I've noticed that a lot of people have abandoned journaling platforms for tumblr or what have you, which is too bad, because tumblr does have some discussion, but it's never been as well organized as journals are. It's just so hard to follow the flow of conversation! And, frankly, people feel a lot more free to be hurtful and mean on tumblr than they do on lj.

I noticed you were on tumblr less and not posting as often on dw, so I wondered if you were just busy or what, but twitter explains it then--I'm curious, is it a good platform for fandom? I would have thought the limited character space would make it hard to do much fandoming there?

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blackmagie September 21 2011, 23:47:03 UTC
Twitter is good for liveblogging in a way that no other format has been for me. That said, it's not for everyone. I do get into fandom discussions since I follow a mix of people and a mix of people follow me but Twitter's where I interact more with publishing people. It's not really the platform for long, meaty discussions ( ... )

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beckerbell September 22 2011, 00:07:07 UTC
FMA fandom is terrible. It might not have gotten to the levels of Avatar or Bleach, but it had its fair share of being being nasty and there's still a lot of smarmy condescension that drives me up the wall. And it's worse with the global tags that you can track, because people will tag what is clearly angry, ranting posts as a shipping post! Character bashing is rampant enough, but the shipping jerkery is ten times worse. You have no idea how many posts tagged with "IchiHime" are actually posts that are UGH THIS PAIRING SUCKS SO MUCH I HATE IT posts! (At least until people started getting after them and saying, GET OFF THE ICHIHIME TAG, TAG THIS AS ANTI-ICHIHIME, JERKWAD, which helped a lot.)

And, wow, do the female characters always seem to bear the brunt of the shipping antagonism. You don't have to hate on a female character if you don't ship her with someone, I promise you can just not like the ship and that'll be fine ( ... )

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isadorathegreat September 22 2011, 01:32:41 UTC
I want to say that I agree with everything you said about Tumblr. It's not that I don't like it, it's just too much at once most of the time and, even in my 10+ years of fandom hopping, I've never been exposed to so much fan hate at once. You're right, it's a lot easier to avoid that sort of thing on slower sites like LJ.

If it helps, maybe you shouldn't track tags specifically? I only follow blogs I like and search tags manually when I'm bored.

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beckerbell September 22 2011, 01:45:14 UTC
I feel you. It's not that I want to say tumblr is without its merits, because there's a lot of really fantastic stuff and really lovely people on tumblr. But even a lot of those seemingly lovely people have their moments of being real jerks that I don't think would happen as frequently as it would on tumblr. Or, at least, it wouldn't happen as blatantly, because it would be buried in comments. It would also help A LOT if tumblr had the ability to flock posts so that not everything was super, super public because, honestly, sometimes your petty, passive aggressive posts should be locked, fandom.

I've already untracked all the Sailor Moon tags, which was the major source of my distaste in fandom, but I think you're right that I should at least consider untracking everything, even the ones that don't usually give me a lot of problems. (And I'm really glad I'm not the only one who feels this way about tumblr!)

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giant_sloth September 22 2011, 11:40:07 UTC
First, I'm sorry about your loss. I don't know the details, but... anyway, I hope you spend that death anniversary around your loved ones and receive the support you might need. I'll keep you in my thoughts. And... wow, it's a shame that some people are so wanky. My Tumblr is basically a personal photo diary, so I don't have that sort of negative experience, but - yeah, I totally understand your need for a hiatus.

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beckerbell September 23 2011, 01:40:29 UTC
*hugs* Thank you. Two years ago, my 2 year old nephew was hit by a car and died right in front of his dad, the anniversary of which is the 26th. It's only one part of the shitstorm that is my life, but it's one that has certainly hurt the worst, all that potential in him just gone like that, that we only had him for two years.

I suspect a lot of what frustrates me about tumblr is that it's all sorts of bad things for someone who's built like me. Someone who can't keep away from people who bother me, someone who's bothered by incorrect information in a series, someone who is HYPER VIGILANT about trying to get everything right that I can, someone who is easily swept up in passions, both happy and rageful. For those who aren't built like me, it's probably a wonderful thing. For me, it becomes--and I do not use this metaphor lightly at-fucking-all--like an addiction. It takes over my life.

....ugh, sorry for vomiting all that up all over you. I'm just in a navel-gazing place right now, so you got to share in that. *g*

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giant_sloth September 23 2011, 03:00:05 UTC
You don't need to apologize! I'm really sorry about that. Losing your loved ones is always terrible, and losing such a little kid in an accident is especially awful... Hang in there. I can't even begin to imagine your feelings, but in any case, you and your family have my most sincere condolences.

For me, it becomes--and I do not use this metaphor lightly at-fucking-all--like an addiction. It takes over my life.
Oh, yes, I understand that. I hope you get enough rest! Emotional exhaustion can really ruin your fandom experience.

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beckerbell September 23 2011, 17:12:27 UTC
Thank you. I don't want to say it becomes easy to deal with, because it doesn't, but it does get to be less painful. Still, sometimes it's harder to bear than others. But I'll be okay and the thoughts are very much appreciated.

And it's actually been really nice not being on tumblr! I've... I've... gotten things done. Is this what it feels like to be productive again? :O!

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littledust September 23 2011, 01:15:19 UTC
*love*

Tumblr would be so much easier if the people who were WRONG WRONG WRONG would just... quietly pack up and leave. I hear you on the perpetual party post thing as well. I'm thinking of reducing my follow list by bookmarking a bunch of general fandom Tumblrs. Easier browsing, and I still get to keep up with my favorite people/select few fandom Tumblrs.

But really, some people are WRONG ON THE INTERNET. :|

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beckerbell September 23 2011, 01:44:50 UTC
Oh, Kelsey. I want to rage rage rage at the people on tumblr for being jerks and for insulting the characters I love and trying to erase their importance from the story and for always tearing them down, I want to rage so much that it's a struggle EVERY SINGLE DAY not to get up on the rooftops and start screaming.

They have actually managed to ruin Sailor Moon fandom for me, in so many ways! I let them have that power over me! I let this stupid website turn me into an angry, bitter person who gets sucked into it for hours and hours and then hates herself because she's ignored her friends and gotten jack all done! All for a group of people that, with about three exceptions (aside from the people I already knew on lj first) I wouldn't actually want on my flist?

Ugh, I am so disgusted with myself and tumblr. Frankly, sometimes I think I would carpetbomb tumblr off the face of the internet if I could. :|

SORRY, I NEEDED TO VENT THERE, APPARENTLY.

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