It gets on my nerves when customers call me by name. I wear a name tag and I'm sure Albertsons loves the idea of having a big-time store with a down-home feel, but I dislike it. I'm bagging your groceries. I'm not dating your daughter. I'm not your milkman. I don't live next door to you, and I don't come over to eat milk and cookies. I'm just ( Read more... )

Noam Chomsky kicked out of the "A"!

I'm done being the ape. I'm through being the henchmen. If you got beef cover it yourself. That is all.

From now on, all deification matters will be known as the following:

Torquing a wikkid cable: ("I'm gonna go torque a wikkid cable.", "Oh man, the cable needs to be torqued, see you in a few.")
Or,
Pooh doggin': ("Ohhh man, I need to pooh dog it!", "I'm gonna go pooh doggin, hand me the Onion.")

Please don't forget.

"Don't be a CANTalope...Be a honeyDO."

And I think that's wonderful advice.

Lately all of my conversations with friends have either been about comics, video games, or role playing. My friend Matt called it a "nerd renaissance" and it seems to fit: When I was 13 I was reading comics, role playing, getting excited about new video games coming out and listening to shitty pop-punk...Which is what I've been doing everyday for ( Read more... )

When I hear people railing off against typical fucked up shit: "Jesus! Bush is a racist!" It almost pisses me off more so than, say, Bush himself. These things come to mind: "No shit Sherlock." "Durr" and "Duh". I know not everyone started seeing how fucked up the world was at the same time, but still...If you're just recently becoming aware ( Read more... )

My job is the perfect stoner job. Alls I do is push carts around and bag groceries for 5 hours a day. A retard could do my job. In fact, three do. Thing is, if I showed up stoned I'm sure my boss would notice (she's a fuckin sniper ghost cat burglar thing) and then I wouldn't have the perfect stoner job. DANG!

It frustrates me how people feel the need to break up a fight. I might have had a good tussle commin with this hipster fuck, but when I hit him 6 (maybe 8?) people were on me, and pullin me away. Effectively stoppin the follow through ( Read more... )

We have a celebrity living in our house! Go to MAKEOUTCLUBand see him! He got the FRONT PAGE! AHH!