I enter into day three of my self-imposed solitude with a vivaciousness of will that surprises even me. Although the hours can still be counted without much trouble, I’ve already observed a rapidly growing detachment from my friends and peers. I am aware that I’m writing this in an absurd style, but I don’t seem to be able to discard it, as this ( Read more... )

I have a headache. And it’s not the good kind of headache that reminds you you’re alive. It’s the kind that makes you forget. It’s the kind that deadens all your emotions and wraps layer upon layer of heavy cotton gauze over your eyes and nose and mouth. You smell nothing except the sourness of your own breath and your vision is limited to the ( Read more... )

Ben hadn’t been well received by the world. He played understudy in a life in which he wasn’t allowed on stage. He wasn’t handsome by any means. His hair hung down in floppy plates over his ears and face and his buckteeth came to an unappealing, jagged point. He looped his toe around the trigger of a shotgun when he was 19. I admired his

Oh god I need help. I neeed someone, anyone to help me. Hold me. Tell me you love me. Cry for me. let me know I'm loved. Let me know I'm not worthless. I fucking crazy.

It's a terrible thing to be in love with someone. "Good morning sir. Yes, that is correct, for our 'unattainable woman service'we require and initial investment of your sense of security, followed by monthly payments of your self-esteem. If at any time payment is witheld, our in-house collection agency will pay you a little visit to remind you ( Read more... )

I would really like to systematically go through every one of my relationships and destroy them, one by one. I would like to have nothing at all in the entire world. I would like to have absolutely no hope of ever being love, appreciated or respected so that I can learn to do it myself. I'm fed the fuck up with having other people do my dirty ( Read more... )

I can see the bus coming. It’s only a few blocks away. I wish I had more time. Just five more minutes, please ( Read more... )

Things are slow and sad. My mind hasn't been sharp. My writing's been mediocre. I'm sad, but I'm not miserable. I'm tired all the time, but I can't sleep. I've never been rejected so much in my entire life. over and over. It's really my fault. I want to spill my guts to someone, anyone, but it always comes out wrong. And pathetic.

Hi. My name's Gabe. I hate myself. When I was little I was fat and got made fun of a lot. My parents got divorced when I was young as well, not like I'm trying to make excuses. In all honesty, I don't remember giving a fuck one way or another. Later on I discovered masturbating. and I thought I was the devil. In highschool I thought I was fat ( Read more... )

EXT ( Read more... )