High

[beldarzfixon]

Comments

[occasionally]

This feels a bit like it could be set where I grew up... Never been in that sort of situation myself--but it doesn't mean it's not familiar.

I hope that her life turned out okay.

[beldarzfixon]

Me too. Yeah, this is kind of an anywhere-America, outside of the major cities, kind of story.

[halfshellvenus]

Oh, boy. You described Bill's addiction to footloose goofing off so well that I worry about how this all turned out for Trish. Getting pregnant changes all of your choices, though there are still new ones to make-- harder, for the circumstances, but still completely possible.

I liked the structure of this entry as well as the flow. The little deliniations of moments fit the prompt, and also separate the story into thematic sections.

[beldarzfixon]

Thanks for your comments and concerns. I labored quite a bit over the structure -- it looked a lot better in my head before I started actually writing it -- and hoped the subtitles would work and not be too jarring.

[halfshellvenus]

I think the bolded parts (which demarcate separations, but are also part of the text) worked really well.

Much better than if you hadn't done them, for instance!

[shanns_ljidol]

I hope that Trish's life turns around and the next time you hear from her she has everything she dreamed of.

[beldarzfixon]

It would be good to hear from her, tho we lost touch long ago.

[fourzoas]

I really liked this. You captured some essential and honest bits of human relationships.

[beldarzfixon]

Thanks. Seems I'm learning those bits in hindsight.

[roina_arwen]

This was well written, I like the way you framed up the piece with the three "high" sections.

[beldarzfixon]

Thanks. Hoped the sectioning would work.