So I think I can say with about 95% certainty that I will be leaving Clemson after this semester.  I don't think grad school is for me at all.  At least not 100s of miles from anything I know, any support system I have.  I'm not cut out for it.  And I'm not ok with that yet, but hopefully I will be soon.  I'm learning not to be disappointed in ( Read more... )

My Jonny is coming to visit me this weekend.  He should be on his way about right now.  I haven't seen him in a month, the longest we've ever gone without being together.  I need this more than I've ever needed anything.  I love him more than I can ever put into words.  He makes me a better person.  He is (obviously) one of the biggest reasons why ( Read more... )

I'm struggling today.  Can't help thinking about how lonely it will be here over the summer.  I really don't think I'm cut out for this.  Jon is coming to visit this weekend and all I want him to do is take me home with him.  Just move my shit right now, back to Murrysville.  I don't even care if that means I have to live with my parents again.  I ( Read more... )

I am in control of my thoughts and my feelings.  I am in control of my life.  I will not let these overwhelming feelings get me down.  I can choose to ignore these toxic thoughts and to focus on the positive.  There are so many positive things about being down here.  Its just those few negatives that overshadow the others.  I need to take this one ( Read more... )

Ok so my boyfriend is a HUGE Dave Matthews Band fan (don't judge, he's not your typical stoner fan type), and I like to listen to a DMB station on Pandora because it has a lot of relaxing, soothing music on it, and it reminds me of him, makes me happy.  I'm not familiar with many DMB songs other than the more popular ones like Ants Marching and ( Read more... )

So I seem to easily be sliding in and out of homesickness still.  Yesterday by far was one of my worst days here emotionally.  I just couldn't kick the feeling that I wanted to just go home.  I'm trying to immerse myself in my work, but I'm finding myself dreading weekends because I really have nothing to do for fun.  Granted, Friday night I had a ( Read more... )

1. What are your first names?
Jen and Jonathan

2. How long have you been together?
a year and a few months

3. How long did you know each other before you started dating?
a week or two?

4. Who asked who out?
Jonny asked for my number after the ABASM meeting, and called me the next day to ask me to lunch

5 ( Read more... )

Just a quick update for any concerned parties..

...Things have been slowly getting better for me here.  A lot of that is because I'm starting to get more busy, and a lot is from going to church on Sunday and meeting all of the grad students in Campus Ministry.  Surprisingly to me, Clemson has a rather large Campus Ministry prorgam, and a lot of the ( Read more... )

Thanks to 
( Read more... )

I'm in Clemson now, as of Friday.  And I'm homesick as hell.  I don't know what I'm doing here, all I want is to go home.  I miss my family, my friends, my Jonny.  I am homesick for the first time in my life, at 24, and I have no idea how to deal with it.  Everyone tells me to give it a few weeks, things will get better.  I'm trying to, I really am ( Read more... )