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[bellehiver]

I am in a forserious depression, and have been for at least two weeks. Its kind of killing me from the inside out, and I cry way more than I ever ever should, and there are few people in the real life world I live in that are making things easier or better. Especially Katy, but I've only actually mentioned feeling like crap to her once or twice

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[bellehiver]

I don't aim for perfection during December, I just really really dislike when someone harsh's my Christmas buzz. Everyone makes a big effort to make everything a little prettier to look at and more fun and when I can't enjoy that it really pisses me off.

Time alone is not the problem or the solution. I have all the time by myself than I will ever need ever. I'm not actually one of those people who are built to even be alone for long periods of time, to be completely honest. That's part of why this relationship has been the best so far. I'm a completely co-dependant person and so was she until just recently. Now I have to act like I'm single again while not being single and its really getting to me in big ways.