-
Just a thought
When you go to your doctors office, please check to make sure your fly is up.
If you find it difficult to check this particular bit of clothing, make sure you have another article of clothing on: underwear. Be it boxers, be it briefs, be it thongs, even. Just wear them.
If you neglect to do both things I've mentioned, I will be forced to view a part ( Read more... ) -
I'm a little bitchy like that.
I'm fortunate enough in my life to have a few super close friends who have enriched my life in numerous ways. By enriched I mean hair care tips, celebrity bashing and the general boosting of this Princesse's ego.
One of said friends just adores watching "who da baby's daddy" shows like Maury & Judge Hatchett. He revels in the absurdity and dramatic ( Read more... ) -
It's the most wonderful time of the year
This is the time of year when those butterflies start swirling in my stomach. When nothing in the world could possibly upset me. When no matter what the thermometer says, the air feels like autumn.
The NFL Regular Season Schedule was released today.
It's almost pigskin time, baby.
Is there anything in the world that could upset me on this, most ( Read more... ) -
Is anyone really shocked by this?
You ARE the baby's father!
The good news for Stern? He didn't drug Anna Nicole and Daniel for no reason, he will still have 100% access to her money as executor of her estate regardless of DNA results. Oops, did I imply he murdered two people? Naughty me, I never meant to insinuate that.
I meant to say it plainly ;-)
-
The Doctor Is In (Five Cents Per Consultation)
Kudos to anyone to can accurately state the inspiration for the title of this post.
I have been getting hit up for my "expert advice" as of lately from the group of weirdos disguised as my friends. Really, what part of insane don't they understand? The mere fact they approach me for my counsel leads me into a long mental diatribe of what qualifies ( Read more... ) -
The bitch known as a literary snob
A lot of times when I tell people that I am a self-proclaimed "literary snob" I get one of two reactions:
"Ohmigawd so am I!" Darling, using the phrase 'ohmigawd' will immediately negate any possibility of you being a literary snob
"Whaaa?" Usually followed by a very confused expression
I can't fully explain it, but good writing is something you know ( Read more... ) -
Not so cute anymore
You know how puppies and kittens are so adorable, precious and lovable when they are puppies and kittens, but then the aging process occurs and then... eh, not so much. Predictably, same deal with kids. Great as babies and toddlers, huge PITAs as teenagers (FTR, have been so ambivalent about the thought of having children because one day they will ( Read more... ) -
Kissing 115 away
At least I will be if I keep this up!
My current weight is 115lbs. Wait, wait, let me rephrase that, before this weekend began, my weight was 115. I haven't weighed myself since Thursday... with good reason.
After a hellish Friday at work, I went out with some friends for alcohol and appetizers. Guess which one I consumed more of?
Saturday I was very ( Read more... ) -
Riddle me this, Batman
When men achieve various sexual exploits, they are congratulated, slapped on the ass by their peers and high-fived. When women do so in any fashion other than complete discretion, when they voice that they like, nay, love having sex, they are sluts, whores, wanton trash.
How does that figure?
Let's just be real here, I'm no virgin. I've had a one ( Read more... ) -
A glimpse into my sense of humor
Or lack thereof, you decide ( Read more... )