Who am I decieving? ...myself only. I'm like a kid sister, kept around for occasional entertainment and due to their feeling a little pity, but mainly: delay. Irresponsibility. I had hoped to duck out of my former persona, throw it away like the costume it in part is. But I've got it carved in the minds of the people here now -- happy-go-lucky, ( Read more... )

Keep having the dreams where i'm in a car and realizing that no one is driving it. I feel that way even when I'm awake. No clue what i'm doing. Extremely shitty night...the worst in a long time. I'm glad Elizabeth's here to talk to and to help me pack. I'm trying to distract myself and suspend belief on so many levels.

My god.

I have no clue what i'm doing. And I have to leave tomorrow night.

So...anybody else feeling like they got a rather pointed slap in the face?

By the way, Libby my peanut, I didn't see you at Merritt's, I was very sad. Where were you?

Did visual field tests at the Belvidere office this morning, didn't screw up and forget to give the patient the clicker like last time. Got my license. Birthday tomorrow, officially an adult...ha...me...an adult. Got two packages of Reeses cups. Smashed my finger in the vending machine opening while getting the Reeses cups. Feeling ill from eating ( Read more... )

when you have clouds caught in your eyes
it doesn't really matter
if the sun is out
now does it?

because what matters is

damned if i know

but to drag it all down with one
that's the glory, see?

When I look at the junk I write, sometimes I really just want to smack myself for sounding so pretentious.

*smack smack*

prone to youthful alterations and god knows what other sins ( Read more... )

Stolen white elephants are awfully hard to keep.

So

so

so

so

so...what?

And so, upon further examination,the metaphysician saw that underneath the flesh and bones there grew a delicate purple sea-flower.

eyes glassy, starred only with the reflected forms on my wrists.

and underneath, and underneath, and underneath

ashes.