Why am I always such a failure? How do I manage to drag myself down so much, after starting out so well? I could have done so much better this semester, but yet again i didn't live up to what i know i ought to be able to do, and afterwards all i can do is be astonished and disgusted with myself and choke on my inability to change what i've already ( Read more... )

why the dissatisfaction, the constant hoping for either silly little things that do nothing when they come, wanting to talk to someone but not really having anything to say, or just a longing for something i have no ability to pin down at all? I'm not overly happy with myself, i know that, but the past few days since i came back to school my norm ( Read more... )

it entered through the insidious gas exchange and crystallized the liquid in my bones.
Now i rattle when i walk.

well fuck everything, i want none of it.

and it's still blue sky, orange leaves on the horizon

how picturesque.

please pardon me in my existence.

oh

so

low.

(the
letters
bending
backwards)

And so they journeyed on, arms over-full of flowers and tiny golden bells.

Being home feels strange.

On another note, it's almost funny how I manage to deceive myself about people's regard for me...insofar as thinking it exists when it does not.

and how can i complain, how do i go to bed cold, with paper birds for company?

They never will fly.

Typical me...I'm having a fantastic time here, so I post only when I'm depressed. I'm a dork. I need towels so I can shower. But they're all in the dryer right now. It's obnoxious.