-
Children, Your Lesson For Today
Children, allow me to show you the kind of responses I am looking for on tonight's homework ( Read more... ) -
Whats In Your Paint Job?
I was on my way home from work today and I saw the stupidest looking car in my life. It was some Japanese car and it was painted to look like sheet metal all over. It had this HUGE logo that said like “Wicked Wraps.net”. The logo covered the whole side of the car and part of the roof ( Read more... ) -
Crack It Open And Take A Bite
I am currently living in Seattle and there one finds a copious supply of these things called 'Asians'. Perhaps you've heard of them. They are about four feet tall, have dark hair, too many children, and eat food that most other human beings consider "most likely poisonous". These Asians gained fame in the early 90s as expert fortune tellers. ( Read more... ) -
Feel The Pressure Of The Long Dick Of The Law
My whole life I have constantly been in trouble with the long arm of the law and often found myself on the wrong side of barred windows. Let me tell you about just a few of the times I was thrown into the big house...though my butthole is still too sore to tell you about what went on in that big happy house ( Read more... ) -
This Isn't Actually The Sequel To Another Entry, I Swear
Whilst watching one of the most boring and worst movies ever made, Kate Blachett's "Elizabeth", I learned that the movie was in fact a sequel to another shitty movie Kate was in. This got me thinking that though most movies have at least one sequel, there are still some classic titles out there that are a potential goldmine of cheap sequel ( Read more... ) -
The Grievances A Sack Feels
More and More I find myself becoming the outcast. I usually feel like I am just another normal person and everyone else is a total Dumbass. But, the more I travel out in public, the more I realize that everyone else are like sheep, copying each other’s every move, and I am the one who is abnormal, for just being normal ( Read more... ) -
The Vikings Were A Loveable People, Because They Liked Pirate Rape
So yes, once again I find myself in the throes of education and am forced to study for tests and quizzes nearly 25 hours a day. Yet again, I have found yet another way to alter the responses and study aides I use in my learning to benefit my comedic needs, at the expense of my education. In my last class about the Vikings, I was asked to explain 6 ( Read more... ) -
To Be Rejected By God
Great story. Coupla months ago my parents asked me to go to church with them so I went. My little brother was dragged along with me and much more reluctant to go than I. In any case, at church everyone was handed little cards with the numbers one to 5 on them. Everyone was supposed to put down 5 prayer requests and apparently they were to be sent ( Read more... ) -
The Perils Of Eating Spicy Food
I must say, I really do love spicy food, but it's one of those things that is way different coming out than going in. One way is warm and inviting, the other is hot and downright painful. Sometimes after I eat a nice hefty Chipotle burrito or a smoothie made not from fruit but diced peppers, hot sauce, and the blood from a young lamb; when I have ( Read more... ) -
I Just Cant Quit You, LJ.
I, as many of my loyal followers, heard the heart breaking news of the passing of one of Hollywood's best and brightest. I heard the news while on a break from work, through a grapevine stemming from someone I could care less about. But upon receiving the news, I was devastated, for there will no longer be any chance of a sequel to Ang Lee's ( Read more... )