fuck it im done bein nice and sweet i just get takin advantage of everytime i turn around.. i try to love.. but i get it thrown right back at me, and i think its my fault which shit i know it is! i just dont care anymore...

I have succum back to my former state of being emotional... i cant help it, its in my nature i guess.. its maybe because i look around and it looks like everyone has someone.. it seems to be a common trend for me.. when i have a girlfriend its not cool to have one, and when i dont it seems like everyone and their mother has someone except me... ( Read more... )

Hey all! college is goin wonderful! i am a "associate" or pledge of LXA or Lambda Chi Alpha. They are fuckin awesome! Well i have been doin good emotionally im startin to become stronger!

Well i have found out my mom is goin to help me after all! i guess i made an impact on her or somthing! And also my older bro clint doesnt have to go to Iraq after all! yay! i guess in the end it will all work out! yay!

~Ben

Well I don't think my mom is goin to help me go to college.. All she did at dinner tonight is argue and lecture me.. "You need to grow up and be an adult, don't keep askin for money!" ouch mom ouch.. so i stood up after I ate and walked out... It really hurt my feelings but im not goin to let it bring me down.. i will make my dreams come true no ( Read more... )

Ive come to relize what has been happening in my life.. I was becoming somthing i hate the most.. I havent been truly myself around anyone except those close to me.. I think the wounds of my past are starting to heal. I think that within the depths of my soul I have been overcome with selfish desire to seek acceptance and lust from everybody. I ( Read more... )

I had a wonderful night last hangin out with Sommer! I have missed hangin with her! Ahh! Today was very very stressful! all the kids gettin last minute school supplies made work hellish! But im glad C duke and Ricky came to see me. After work tonight Ricky and I sat out in the parking lot of CVS just talkin about life. it helped hearing his stories ( Read more... )

So i am done.. i have tried everything.. i thought that it would work out in the end.. but i didnt give it time.. i just wish she would call me.. i know i need to get over it like everyone God and the world has told me to do.. but i care about her so much.. i hope she finds peace and happiness.. i hope she starts her year off wonderfully.. thats ( Read more... )

Well.. its gettin to be that time of year again goin back to school... well i have about 2 and a half more weeks till i start class but i want all of you kids starting school this week to have a wonderful time! i will be thinkin of you while i sleep in and veg out til i have to go to class.. be sure to do your homework and make good grades ( Read more... )

I went to Jessy's last night and hung out with her and watched movies and stuff. She is such a fighter she will not let this knee surgery stop her from having a good time! That is what i love about her. I also had to take Tim to registration yesterday and that was exciting got to see all the ole pelham folks.. So if your an upperclassman you better ( Read more... )