Monday night I went out to move my jeep so the Salvation Army could pick up a bunch of stuff my grandma was donating.  first I couldn't get the engine to turn over.  then once I figured out that one it died once it went to idle.  finally I got it to idle, but it would die after a minute or two.  so tuesday I had it towed to the dealership to get it ( Read more... )

last week I was telling her how grams wants to go on a spa retreat for mother's day.  then my mom went into how the last time she went to this one particular place was with her friends.  right before she left I called to tell her I had been raped.  she just went on and on about how I ruined the entire experience for her.  I caught myself before I ( Read more... )

did you know the navy changed their core values???  how does one go about changing their core values?  all of a sudden honor is no longer important.  are they implying that morals are now no longer necessary is today's society?  well, in today's navy I suppose.  I guess not, as now it is Courage, Commitment, and Teamwork.  When wasn't it about ( Read more... )

In the quiet of my soul, in the stillness of the night, I hear your voice and I am overwhelmed.  I find myself at a lost for the words to describe you.  You mean more to me than my heart could ever express.  Your love, your grace they never fail, for in them you bring joy and peace to my soul.  I love you.

Why am I thinking about him?  Dreaming about him?  I haven't seen him in years.  I was the one that ended it badly.  And yet lately I can't seem to get him off my mind.  Is it the "could have been" that is getting to me?  It isn't like I can make up for the past as he is now married and has a kid.  I wish I could see him, talk to him but I know ( Read more... )

oh man, so I totally lost it Sunday night - and it wasn't pretty ( Read more... )

yesterday my mother had some rather choice words for me. tis the season I guess. it seems that every year around this time she feels the needs to just be a total bitch. I should be use to it, expect it even, but it never makes it any easier to hear ( Read more... )

Find the one you love Julie ( Read more... )

I want so badly to believe in the happy ending, but what if my story doesn't have one?

i am haunted by the what ifs these days. what if i had just said yes. what if i had never sent that letter. what if i had done a million things differently.

i just feel like at every crossroads i am continually making the wrong decision. it has to get better soon, right? i just don't know how much more of this i can take.