I have been reading a lot of books about rape culture and consent. gwangi would tell you too many but I actually find it pretty useful for me to process things
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I'm a hugger. But for many years I stopped initiating them because of what you mention. Even if I ask I think a lot of people would say yes even if they didn't want to so they don't look like an asshole. Now I have a rep as being a bit of a cold fish.
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