Comments | betenoire_rp: [Voice + Anon Text]

miseryismyotp in betenoire_rp

[Voice + Anon Text]

Aug 15, 2011 23:56

[Voice, locked to Some ovMennet and Sam]

So...we need to find you employment, right, Some? Any ideas?

[Anon Text]

Do the undead need to wear condoms?

And I'm not talking like need them, they'll die if they don't. I need to know if we they can get diseases.

Serious replies only.

thomas hawkins, some ovmennet, conrad achenleck, spike, chris halliwell (au), { tensa zangetsu (au), gregory house md, lance blackthorn (au), { wyatt halliwell, { ichigo kurosaki (au), { eric northman, diana abel, { daniel jackson phd, jack harkness (s2), sam winchester (au), { piper halliwell, claire novak, ba'al, angelus/angel

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[video] idolstolemylook August 16 2011, 04:01:15 UTC

Oh for the love of...

Isn't this why you asked me to help you?

[Text; anon] miseryismyotp August 16 2011, 04:04:20 UTC

I don't know who you are. We have never met. Please do not contact me again. I am not interested in your penis.

[video] idolstolemylook August 16 2011, 04:07:34 UTC

[sigh]

Vampires don't wear condoms. We're immortal. Unless you're havin' sex with pointy bits of wood, you're set.

[Text] This is, far and away, the worst conversation he's ever had. miseryismyotp August 16 2011, 04:09:09 UTC

Is it. The, uh.

Is sperm immortal? And will putting it in someone make them immortal?

[video; locked] idolstolemylook August 16 2011, 04:12:05 UTC

If I lock this, will you talk to me like a normal little pain in the arse?

No. It's not immortal. It won't turn anyone and it won't give 'em little undead babies. And you can't get... undead syphilis, or whatever... I don't even fuckin' know what diseases are popular now, been so long since I had to worry about it.

Who'd you stick it to, then, tiger?

[video; locked] miseryismyotp August 16 2011, 04:14:30 UTC

Well, I sure as shit don't know!

You don't know her. She's not from here.

[video; locked] idolstolemylook August 16 2011, 04:17:17 UTC

Nobody's from here. Guess I should congratulate you anyway, for gettin' a leg over. Good on you, Sparky.

[video; locked] miseryismyotp August 16 2011, 04:18:45 UTC

Inform the other vampires, Spike. I have had sex.

[video; locked] idolstolemylook August 16 2011, 04:20:15 UTC

The other vampires are all wankers.

Wait.

That your first time? Ever?

[Oh yeah like he'd popped his cherry before he was turned.]

An' you're not even going to give me a clue.

[video; locked] miseryismyotp August 16 2011, 04:21:46 UTC

Yeah, I can't really argue with you there.

...Well, to be honest I don't exactly...know how you'd react so I'm just going to...sit here..

Are you sure nothing's going to happen?!

[video; locked] idolstolemylook August 16 2011, 04:25:25 UTC

So I do know her.

[And Seras isn't even here... Who else does he know who rolls with vamps?]

Bloody hell you didn't shag Cho, did you?

[video; locked] miseryismyotp August 16 2011, 04:27:12 UTC

That girl that wanted to put me in a pet carrier?!

[video; locked] idolstolemylook August 16 2011, 04:30:17 UTC

She was tryin' to be hospitable! You were all... wee-sized!

I'll take that as a no, then.

[But who else, who would Conrad even... Spike's eyes widen.]

You did not. No, who'm I kiddin', who hasn't she snagged at this point?

[video; locked] miseryismyotp August 16 2011, 04:33:55 UTC

...Excuse me?!

[video; locked] idolstolemylook August 16 2011, 04:36:44 UTC

Conrad. Tell me it was Faith. I'm beggin' you.

[video; locked] miseryismyotp August 16 2011, 04:39:53 UTC

Fine. Fine It was Faith.

Excuse me. I have to go set my car on fire.

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