[Voice + Anon Text]

[miseryismyotp]

[Voice, locked to Some ovMennet and Sam]

So...we need to find you employment, right, Some? Any ideas?

[Anon Text]

Do the undead need to wear condoms?

And I'm not talking like need them, they'll die if they don't. I need to know if we they can get diseases.

Serious replies only.

Comments

[video]

[idolstolemylook]

Oh for the love of...

Isn't this why you asked me to help you?

[video; locked]

[idolstolemylook]

[Silence. Stretching out uncomfortably. As Spike gets up, out of sight of the camera, walks away, and finally cannot contain himself. He bursts out laughing.]

Yes. Yes. I knew it!

[Grinning, he plops back down in front of the screen.{

Oh that's bloody brilliant, that is. Perfect. She's like a bloody cheerleading squad. Not to worry, Conrad. My nethers haven't fallen off an' I'm pretty sure Wyndam-Ponce is as clean as a whistle.

[video; locked]

[miseryismyotp]

...Wait?

Wait, what?!

You slept with Faith?! What the-

Oh god I have parts of you inside me.

[video; locked]

[idolstolemylook]

Christ you're a prude.

[video; locked]

[miseryismyotp]

Oh god this is worse than I thought. This is a disaster.

Fuck, though, that at least gives me room to ask my other question; is she still going to try to kill me after this?

[video; locked]

[idolstolemylook]

Oh. Probably not. She's met you, so chances are she knows you're harmless.

Anyway, s'not all that bad. Had a girl with experience, an' one that can keep up. Could've been worse. Probably won't go for you again, though. Girl's got issues.

[video; locked]

[miseryismyotp]

She knew I was harmless the first day I met her, and she still tried to kill me!

...And now I'm wondering why the fuck we had sex when she had you to go to all this time.

[video; locked]

[idolstolemylook]

Pfft. No. She does not. Not just some piece of meat for any randy Slayer to come by an' molest.

Maybe there's a prize when she collects us all.

[video; locked]

[miseryismyotp]

But if one specific Slayer came along?

..Oh god that just. Put a whole creepy vibe on the whole thing. Oh god. I was a conquest.

[video; locked]

[idolstolemylook]

Not layin' down any rules about that.

Chin up, Conrad. You had a good time, right? Don't love the girl, do you? Then who the fuck cares?

[video; locked]

[miseryismyotp]

I don't know. I just. I wanted it to be special, and I don't think she's going to...put the same worth on it that I will.

[video; locked]

[idolstolemylook]

Oh.

Well, was special for you, right? Can't control what she thinks.

[video; locked]

[miseryismyotp]

It did feel special. Not now. Well, sort of, but now it's tainted with weirdness.

[video; locked]

[idolstolemylook]

Can't let it get you down. You want her, mate, you go for her, should just know what you're up against.

[video; locked]

[miseryismyotp]

I don't know if I want her in the right way.

[video; locked]

[idolstolemylook]

Uh, what way's that?