Okay. I've sucked. Really. Really. Bad lately. The main reasons I think my ana started was to distract me from the pain of Travis. But then I met Jared and things started turning around... I felt almost... pretty. But now things are going wrong all voer again. Jared keeps making things complicated and painfula nd everythings just wrong and I feel ( Read more... )

I swear. I'm like one step forward, two steps back. Last week I got down to 106 lbs. That's the lowest I've been since seventh grade. No joke. Now I'm back to 113 just like last Sunday. I'm so angry. Ughh. I felt so good and confident and in control last week. I really want to gain that back, and um... re-lose the pounds. Lol. Seriousely. Last week ( Read more... )

I haven't been online here in so long. I've been restricted from the computer, but tonight I couldn't sleep so I snuck on. It's 1:30 in the morning. Teehee. :] Anyways, this week I made a lot of progress, but I fear my control is slipping again. Last Sunday I weighed 115 lbs to to excessive eating and laziness, etc. Yesterday I weigh 106. :]] I'm ( Read more... )

Today I had two small bowls of oatmeal. I'm assuming it to be about 300 cals total for my day? I think I'll have maybe another cup of coffee and then some sushi for dinner and call it a day. That should bring me to just under 500 for the day ( Read more... )

I was having the best week. Camp was amazing. This guy named Todd practically fell in love with me and wrote a song about me, and us freshman girls got paired with senior boys and they were fighting over who got to be my partner for this competition where I had to ride on one of their backs and then the one who got to be my partner was like "You're ( Read more... )

I was really hoping to have great stats to start off the year, but it looks like that won't be happening, seeing as how I've totally fucked up during this damned holiday break. I'm at about the same weight I was months ago. Howeverrr, I leave for camp tomorrow and I always lose weight at camp, so that should be lovely! There'll be two people at ( Read more... )

I. Weigh. One. Hundred. And. Twelve. Pounds.

I'm sorry, but that just sounds so completely disgusting. I can't wait to not have to say "one hundred..." when I state my weight. I can't wait to be in the double digits. It'll be so lovely. :]

I binged so bad today. HUGE set back. Ugh.

Tomorrow is going to be fantastic though. I can feel it. I'm getting ( Read more... )

to post so soon after my last. i'm about to go watch Breakfast at Tiffany's, but I really wanted some honest feedback on this...
Tell me what you really think. Criticism is both welcomed and appreciated. It'll motivate me.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v285/ImmortalSoulForever/BethyyButtEwww-1.jpg

Sorry if that makes anyone gag. Feel free to use ( Read more... )

[Food Warning. I name quite a few things in this entry...]

Hm. Today was almost good. For breakfast I had half a slimfast bar. 60 cals. Then I went to church and afterwards my friend took me to out (she knows) and we split a donut. I only ate it 'cause I want her to think I'm in recovery and not like, freak out or anything. So I come home and look ( Read more... )

I ate too much today. I feel disgusting, but I'm going to do tons and tons better tomorrow. I swear! I'm focusing on my friend (frenemy really) Alex. She's thinner and taller than I am. She weighs 106 lbs. Her BMI is 18.19. To be as thin as her I'd have to weigh 99.4 lbs. My first goal is to match her current weight, then to get to 103 lbs to match ( Read more... )