well i had a great 2 hour conversation with jaime's mom, jenny, today. it was nice to talk to her, hear about some of the things in jaime's past and all about his family. she even invited me to come down on weekends if i got bored. she's about 3 1/2 hours away, but it was a lovely gesture. she's all excited about meeting me, it's really cute. but i ( Read more... )

"what is love ( Read more... )

i have to keep reminding myself i came down here to better my life. i guess i forget all that when i'm lonely and depressed. i miss nj. i miss my friends. i miss jaime. i miss it all. but without this opportunity, i don't know where i'd be. but this temporary loneliness isn't gonna be for long, and soon i'll be working so much that, i'll forget who ( Read more... )

there's a couple of sayings that i live by. but one of which i preach to everyone... "The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave when we don't know what to do." i don't know what made me think of it but it's true. i've had so many things running through my mind lately. nothing of which i can pin-point to attempt ( Read more... )

have you ever felt that something was missing from your life? then you find what it is that fills that part missing, but still doesn't feel like the right thing? i am missing a piece of something from my life, something i can't discuss, but i know the thing that should be filling that void, isn't. does this even make sense? i'm just rambling off ( Read more... )

well it was another gorgeous day down in va. perfect for walking, which i did. i really like it down here. the people are so nice, and the area is too. i can't wait to start work. and i think i already found a part-time job at a sushi bar. i just have to call. i'm calling the massage school tomorrow to get the information on how much and everything ( Read more... )

well i haven't posted much since that last little empowering number, but i am write this from my new home in virginia beach, va. a little twist from the last anyone knew, i know. this is the second day here on my new path to self-discovery and career opportunities. i'm not yet unpacked or for that matter settled in, but to reassure everyone, it's ( Read more... )

well well well... it always seems to be that i never write in here anymore and update my life, lol. i'm dating this guy, jaime, lives up in bayonne, way up north. wonderfulness is constant feeling. he's got me all twisted. lol. i'm such a dork. so is he. work is work. overnight is definitely not a beth kind of job, but i'm doing well with it. ( Read more... )

i found a place to live. YAY. faith is everything.

this is not pertaining to any individual, just a general over-all entry. i'm tired. i'm tired of feeling lost again. i'm tired of feeling alone in the world. i'm tired of feeling useless. i'm tired of feeling scared. i'm so fucking tired. i'm tired of getting hurt, and i'm tired of crying. i'm tired of trying to please everyone else, and never ( Read more... )