Am pretty impressed/ surprised that I remembered the password and everything for this.  What a ghost town it's become.  Is fun to read back on the things I posted over time (and what Paulie posted too), and how times have changed since then.  I'm fully aware that nobody will probably read this, and it'd be a shock if they did, but I wanted an ( Read more... )

So this thing is dead in the water

What it meant to me was hope, what it meant to me was opinion, it meant a voice that wasnt against me. I used to read and write these things thinking i could make difference, thinking someone might read this and feel less alone, or might feel the same way i do... I have lost friends, i have been given nothing but ( Read more... )

And again I'm caught in a tornado... what to do, what to do.

So depressing.

It's ok.... breathe again.... you're still here.... you're still great

i wanted for you... joy, peace, love..... could you be here for anymore?

i wish you didnt have to leave... i wish you had been given more

we were once mighty.... or so we thought... who knew your end would be so soon

you were my friend.... someone who gave me perspective

someone from ( Read more... )

haircut tomorrow..... shave tomorrow..... repair pants tomorrow

tomorrow will come.... and will be a great day

i will be the same person i am.... without the lack of motivation

i will make something of myself

i will be brand new

i am somebody

maybe its the drink talking

but fuck.... i know what has fucked me up.... for so long.... avoiding it and burying it is not helping.... this is a fucking lie

for going on a year now.... this has completely riddled my dream.... my sincerity.... my entire being.... like cancer it kills me, i am no where near big enough to step aside. i am human and ( Read more... )

There are two types of people in this world.

Those who continually give..... and those who continually take.

that's it.... you fall into one or the other...

and man.... its effin hard to continually give to those who continually take.

who gives these people the right to never be truly human

your emotions and feelings aren't all that matter

your kind are ( Read more... )

Somehow i've just lost my way again.... but this time somewhat surprised that i am not devastated.... uncomfortable yes, but growing more used to being nothing.... what am i? what am i but a joke?.... this world is not opportunity, this is just the start of the end.

for a long time i have not written anything.... nor have i had deep thoughts..... ( Read more... )

Basketball?  Not important.

Guitar?  Not important.

Uni?  Not important.

Jake's happiness and life?  Ditto.

Eh, it's my choice.  Can be a real fucking drain sometimes.

Hang tough dude.

Sorry for stealing your style again Paulie, heh.

Jake.

Sorry Paulie, I intend to steal your thunder a little here, but praise the lord for me actually writing an entry.  It's only been what, 5 years?  Something like that anyways.  My first entry since puberty.

So, much like Paulie (though for different reasons and in a different way), life is really at a do-or-die point, a real defining point.  It's ( Read more... )