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Gothic
I am almost half century, and I finally have a personal gothic dark tale ( Read more... ) -
Changes
Great, the medication, which is supposed to be stable, when I came out of the hospital, begins to fail. I am not unhappy :( -
Trigger
The anger in me is clear. A fundamental mistake and led to the end of my promising career. A job that I love and trained hard for it. Not too many jobs that I had pay me $50/hr, and now it is all taken away from an intern and by the California system.
Todays group ended up talking about trigger. It is interesting to know how it works. The ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
First week of PHP over. My mood during the week is even. But during the weekend, not good. I guess being confined to workshop and groups non stop helped my brains to avoid triggers..and there were triggers, the primary being the idea that it was someone else whose screw up that cost my job and career. Once it is the long weekend, I am all by ( Read more... ) -
Almost not here anymore
On August 6th morning I still felt low level depression. Remembering what the doctor said that if I take the paxil I should immediately feel better, I felt perhaps I should take the full initial dose of 10mg as suggested by the emergency nurse. Since I already took 5mg at night only 5 hours ago, I took another 5mg. I started to feel weird, and ( Read more... ) -
Scared
I feel so alone. I feel so scared of being stigmatized or laughed at because my chiuuldhood sexual abuse perpetrator was female. I am so scared for not having any relationship (family children) ever as if I were damage goods. I feel like a coward for not toughing it out silently as if life goes on. I feel scared that people just say I am creating ( Read more... ) -
Back, hi.
I don't know how many of you still here. I think I will try to do journal again here. I FB most of the times but there are things that are too private to write, and also the fact that I need privacy and FB is never good in that respect. I wrote a few tims in tumblr but it is simply not for me. I think I should come back to lj assuming if there ( Read more... ) -
I never want to treat you bad, I want to never treat you sad, I swore to share your joy and pain....
I hate Xmas, Why did you cheat on me ( Read more... ) -
The Holidays
This will be an extremely hard holiday times coming up. Losing my second closest friend in hindsight from silly reasons, with my best friend also gone for a well needed break and going overseas..I am left withthe next set of close friends being in SF and not that close any more. I think I begin to join the group of people whose experience in the ( Read more... ) -
1%
Watch this further. On the other hand met a really good cutie who is also in the same pain counseling group together. Completely supposed to be not my type but I am strangely attracted. I asked for his email and he even gave me his business card and facebook account ( Read more... )