I really can't quantify how much I miss Matt Wales, and how if I could go back, I might do things so much differently. If ( Read more... )

I finally got around to watching Jam over the past three days. It twice triggered my reoccurring nightmare in which I find myself at an airport, or in a foreign country without my passport. I don't know what the significance of that is, but the entire show reminds me of late episodes of the League of Gentlemen where things became so bizarre that ( Read more... )

The monks are out to get me.

I have been moved to the childrenswear department.

Irony is a cruel mistress, kids.

My fingers smell of garlic. This is potentially dangerous. Last time my fingers smelled of garlic, I was in the loo at work, drying my hands, and I wondered if the smell had faded yet. So I put my fingers up to my nose and took a few quick sniffs. At the same time, I started thinking about Bill Bailey's rendition of "Das Hokey Cokey" on Part Troll ( Read more... )

It really bothers me when a woman gets married and then shrieks, "OMIGOD! I am now Mrs. NICE GUY!*" I want to say, "What happened to your own identity?" But posting that in an online forum would only get me called out for being nasty and unsupportive, so I don't.

I had a dream that I was standing outside a mall with my sister Julia when a girl came up to us with a little collection tin. Without thinking, I put fifty cents in. Then I suddenly realised that on the side of the tin, peeking from beneath the girl's hand, was a line drawing of a fetus. I ran after her, demanding to know if she was collecting for ( Read more... )

Despite initial appearances, the trains on London Underground do not have arm rests on the seats. They have seat dividers. It is occasionally acceptable to use the seat dividers as arm rests, provided there is no one sitting in the seat on the other side of the divider on which you wish to place your arm. If there is someone sitting in either of ( Read more... )

If Becki is nice to me (and uh, humanity) for the rest of the year, I'm getting her this for CHRISTmas:


( Read more... )

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