I DO NOT ASK.
I DO NOT KNOW.
I DO NOT NEED.
I DO NOT SHOW!

you have to hide emotion
to get emotion.
you have to hide care.
to get care.
you have to hide everything.
to get anything.

the game is unsurmountable
because it is within.

-carrousel

"if this is a question ( Read more... )

i need to free myself from these feelings ( Read more... )

i don't want to do this anymore. if only i couldn't. i've already felt dead for so long. but i'm still here, or else the disappointment would have ceased. i set myself up for it, too. truly my fault. it's like i stand on the edge of this cliff expecting not to fall over it when i already have before, like nothing will ever happen to me, when all ( Read more... )

Today, i was at the bookstore dangerously contemplating my misfortunes and I began watching this kid, a kid my age, who was blind, struggling to complete simple tasks most of us take for granted. heres what i came up with ( Read more... )

do you ever get that feeling where everything around you is still going on, but you're not fully there. it's as if you're watching it all move by, flutter, yet really you're right there in it. like an itchy dream. you don't quite know where to go, or what to do, and you don't really care much either. you just kinda sit there ( Read more... )

i could have told you about the restaurant tonight. could have made you jealous. and i almost said something before i stopped and realized that trying to make you feel as i always feel no longer makes me feel any better. at all. i don't want to do these stupid games anymore, we are beyond that, we're past that stage, and i will not participate ( Read more... )

interesting things lately...i'd like to think i sometimes surprise myself. but when it comes down to it, i'm really just stuck right where i have been for so long. frustration. hopefulness. and disappointment. always disappointment ( Read more... )