I've been going to a certain Subway about four times a week for the past two months because it's the only place I know of that serves Mello Yello. I haven't been able to find it at any other place. It's gotten really bad. I feel so crazy walking in nearly everyday of the week, not ordering any food, and walking out with the same beverage every ( Read more... )

I shouldn't want to keep that red-haired chick from Mythbusters in a jar in my basement. But I do. It's so strange; I've never been able to stand red-haired girls. Red-haired women are the eleventh plague. Their personalities are fine, I suppose, but, something far more important, I've never been able to eat in front of them. They all seem to ( Read more... )

I weighed myself the other day. 185. Too much weight for feminine shoulders. I've got to lose at least 15 lbs. Already tried starving myself; all I got was bantu belly. And, for me, an empty stomach always craves alcohol ( Read more... )

On August 27th or 28th around 12:30 AM, Mars will be visible to the naked eye as large as a full-moon. This has never happened in recorded human history, and is not predicted to occur again for another 6,200 years.

Hmm...

it's Saturday Night. I have no date, Final Fantasy III, a 2-liter bottle of Shasta, and my All-Rush mixtape.

Somebody should fucking call me.

Yes, here. With lifeless men, women, gods. Here. One of those terrible moods. I'm back on those pills again. Of course, more good than harm, but with lifeless cock. I don't know if you understand, but with these pills I give up the sincerity of an orgasm. Something very maddening. You spend two hours treating it like it's a woman, treating ( Read more... )

Anakin should've forced Padme to have an abortion. Hindsight 20/20 and all, but I think I'd rather chew my way through a couple of fetus' than slaughter a room full of children. Who wouldn't?

My daughter has fleas. I must shave and wash her with my dirty, dirty hands.

Well, somehow Speilberg convinced Warner Brothers that a Goonies sequel would make money (ketchup popsickle?). So the film is back on, which will be filmed in Astoria and include all the original cast members in major roles ( Read more... )

"That's a gay park. Are you gay Stephen? Is frolf a gay sport ( Read more... )

Sin City is what The Punisher and Spawn films should have been. Hollywood has never had the balls to produce a film that has heroes hitting women, tearing out throats with bare teeth, and ripping off genitals.

Millers are fucking crazy.

Sincerely,
A satisfied fanboy