::lowers head in shame:: i dont know what to do right now. this sux im gonna go do something stupid so bye!

idk what to do... im torn between two the life i have and the life i want. ive been trying so hard to build things to the way i want... then you came... the variable! i can keep you next to me where u seem to fit perfectly or i can push u away behind my wall where im so safe from pain. make a leap of faith? will things actually be different with ( Read more... )

today was out first real soccer game :-/ they had me playing goalie... yeah well that was real fun! seeing as my whole freakin body is like broken. yeah well i tried and they got a lucky shot on me... :( i hit it with my hands but i guess i didnt hit it hard enough and it went it... then later i called the ball n i dove for it and some heffa wacked ( Read more... )

-steve phillips ( Read more... )

omg! LUKE came over last night. he he it was so much fun. he was late so i decided to have some fun. well to give him credit he did call to tell me. which was really sweet. i talked to his friend KEVIN who i dont think really likes me all that much. i also talked to his brother JOEL who is a stinkin crack up! hes gonna cry me a river :-d but that ( Read more... )

i cant do this anymore. is too much for me to face. i want to just crawl in a hole n stay there for ever. too many things to think of. too many things eatting away at my soul. why do i have to face all this alone? its so hard to have blind faith? why do bad things have to happen all at once? DOROTHY'S sick n if i lose her idk what ill do. i truly ( Read more... )

i hung out with SYLVIA n TESSA for a while. we watched the movie with amanda binds in it... its a really good movie it just broke my heart :-/... o man that guy in it IS SO HOTTTTT!!!!! geese n he's white watch out now! lol JENKJ is changing me lol. well i was suppost to go to practice tonight but its too much stress for me at the moment. my first ( Read more... )

my grandma's really sick :-/. i dont really know what to do or what to feel right now. i feel so helpless. if i could id take her sickness apon myself. id much rather me bare the burden then her. my dad called me the other day and what he said has been floating over my head. i dont know why i cant make him happy i cant make him proud. this feels as ( Read more... )

omg last night was so much fun!!! well except the thing that happened... ok well anyways JENKJ had a blast... hehe that was so much fun! lol at one point in the night we decided to go running to the water... lol idk why but he just decided to n i found a football... :-p i threw it at JB n i ment to hit her in the back... lol but i hit her in the ( Read more... )