Claim that I have stumbled upon a grocery bag full of McDonald's Happy Meal toys that, strangely enough, seem to come from a society with a completely different pop culture from our own. This would be concerete -er- PLASTIC evidence of extra-dimensional worlds similar to our own ( Read more... )

Tonight I go to sleep high-fiving history.

Q. How can you tell that Dracula has been to the bakery?

A. “Mullins!” the Sarge barked. “Get yer worthless Irish ass over here and start documenting this shit.”

“Yeah boss,” I said, twisting a new bulb into the flash of the detective’s camera. It was all I could do to stand upright, let alone keep the bulb from flying out of my sweating palms. I ( Read more... )

And this is how our election should be decided

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I can't stand much more of this.

For as much laughter as it's given me today, I feel terrible for Bristol Palin's kid. It's a rare thing since the demise of the feudal system to be politicized pre-natally. I wouldn't be surprised if the kid grows up to be the frontman for a band like Hatebreed or Fear Factory.

Nine Inch Nails blew up Youngstown at the end of their show. :(

You know you've done a good day's work when your story about a stolen wallet from 1964 turning up in a school demolition ends up on Wii MOTHERFUCKING NEWS FEED.

Trying to anticipate the responses ( Read more... )

Some dude at the Austintown Obama rally just proposed a monorail.