Where have I been ( Read more... )

Drank up all my Beam and Southern Comfort when he 'swung by' last night by busting through one of my windows while he was drunk and looking for more alcohol. I know he's got trauma from being abducted by the aliens, but that doesn't give him the right to rip me off ( Read more... )

I am friggin WASTED here...

Can you believe Luanne forgot to tape my COPS appearance ( Read more... )

Didja see the can on that babe?

I love construction work, too bad the job is only temporary and ends in a week. Aw well, it still puts money into my whiskey fund and my truck repair fund.

The wife and the boy come back tomarrow...dammit.

Anyother way is cheating. It's worth it of course though, it'll put hair on your back and when you fight at the bar you'll actually punch harder than before ( Read more... )

We got close to that thing as it was hovering over Jimmy Boy's ranch...or what's left of it. The aliens already have killed all his cows and burned all his grass with the pro democrat statements that they know piss us off. Damn aliens. So we all figured it was pay-back time ( Read more... )

We saw the UFO just last night! The thing is really shiny and it glows like a Chrismas tree, it shot down this beam of light and sucked a couple of cows off the face of the Earth and into it's hull. We went over to Jimmy boy's ranch where we saw the UFO and Jimmy boy was all "GAHHHHHH! MY COWS ( Read more... )

Earl came over to my place and showed me the piece of alien metal that with which they uh...yeah you know. The rectal probing and everything...yeah there I said so know you know I'm not AFRAID to say it. I'm all man boy...even in the face in things that are downright disturbing ( Read more... )

We need to kick alittle more ass today. The Al Queda is still around as you see with what went down in England, I thought Iraq would get rid of that bullshit but guess not. We need to invade a couple more countries to make sure to git them next time around. Maybe pop a few of the bombs. If AMERICA just deep fried the Middle East with the holy power ( Read more... )