Sugar and Pepper (51)
FIFTY
* FIFTY-ONE *
01.
It was another hour before Jun would be released from practice, but Satoshi had already set out from his house long before. He was half-way to school when the message from Kazunari came: [ I took off from work today. I'm home alone. Come over. ]
Satoshi read the message and his steps subsided until he stood still on the sidewalk. He answered his underclassman with an apology.
Kazunari replied instantly. [ Sorry. Never mind. ]
Satoshi felt pity that he couldn't run to his underclassman's side. He tried to think about meeting Jun later to forget disappointing Kazunari and headed towards the school again. He only took a few more steps until he stopped. In a moment of understanding, he remembered that Aiba had planned to confess today.
Satoshi took out the phone he'd stowed away and called Kazunari instead. His junior did not answer.
Forgetting about himself completely, he moved to the side of a building out of the way of others and was determined to call again. Again, Kazunari did not answer.
02.
When Jun met Satoshi at the empty baseball field, he was able to discern the frown on his older brother's face. He lifted a hand and thumbed the corners of Satoshi's slightly down-turned lips.
"What's wrong?" he asked. "Aren't you happy to see me?"
For a moment, Satoshi gave him a small smile. Then Kazunari's message weighed down on him again. "Can we stop by Nino's place?"
Jun wasn't so keen on the idea, but he tried to be patient. "Why?"
Satoshi twined both his hands together and looked down at them. "I want to see Nino," he muttered.
Jun's gut lurched alarmingly, but he tried to reign the emotion in. "Today of all days?"
Satoshi frowned up at him, unhappy that he may have hurt Jun with his request, that Jun's gut lurched again seeing the expression that he had caused. He took Satoshi's twined hands and pulled them apart, hooking their hands together instead. "We'll go," he conceded. "If you promise to tell me what really happened to the chocolates you didn't give away."
The older boy's eyes flickered with the reminder and when he realized that Jun wasn't blaming him and speaking lightly instead, he relaxed. "They're at home," he mumbled.
03.
He finally asked, when they were on their way to Kazunari's apartment, why Jun even bothered about his honmei chocolates. His younger brother was already carrying a bag of chocolates with him.
Jun sheepishly rubbed at his nose to hide his embarrassment as he said quietly, "But it'd be from you." He sounded childish and petty, and thinking back about his confusion from that morning made him even more embarrassed.
He thought maybe Satoshi heard him anyway because his older brother blushed and bowed his head, looking at his feet and the ground.
04.
Night had already fallen and as they walked to their destination, Jun squeezed Satoshi's hand in his grasp and took a deep breath of the cold air. He tilted his head back to glance up at the dark sky. Another day gone.
At the least, even if they were going to meet someone else, they were both together.
Enveloped in the nightly shadows and standing under the bright half moon, Jun felt like only the two of them existed in that moment. No one and nothing else mattered.
He said more to himself than his older brother, "What if as soon as you go abroad, this happiness will come crashing down?"
He felt Satoshi grip his hand in return. He turned his head to look into his brother's face. Jun saw an expression that seemed to mirror his own. He reached up with his free hand and smooth his thumb over his brother's cheek. It truly was only the two of them at that moment.
"Happiness doesn't last, does it?" he asked quietly, but it was a rhetorical question and Satoshi did not answer.
05.
Jun stood a distance away while Satoshi knocked on Kazunari's apartment door. No one answered and Jun could see that his brother was getting anxious. He couldn't understand why, but the sudden request to come and his brother's quiet panic made him reason that what had happened was something his brother considered important.
Watching Satoshi rap at the door urgently yet again was making him antsy as well. He finally opened his mouth to tell his brother to stop when the door swung open. Kazunari stood on the threshold. Jun felt anger rise in him. If his classmate had been home that entire time, then why did he ignore them?
"Nino," Satoshi murmured.
"Why'd you come?" Kazunari asked quietly.
Jun fumed and opened his mouth again, and again he paused because he noticed that his classmate's form looked even more hunched than usual. Instead of the mischievous glint that Jun often found on his face and eyes, Kazunari's expression looked pinched. Jun's anger drained away.
"Nino," Satoshi said again without answering his question.
Kazunari sighed and turned inside, but he did not close the door behind him. Satoshi followed, but he stopped with one foot inside the genkan. He turned and looked at Jun who was still watching the both of them silently.
Jun gestured for him to go on. "I'll wait outside," he decided. He had no place with them.
06.
Satoshi followed Kazunari inside and shut the door behind him. His junior did not stop and walked all the way to his bedroom. Satoshi followed him and entered the room he had been to once. He saw that Kazunari was waiting for him and again he closed the bedroom door behind him. They stood facing each other, no one uttering a word.
Finally, the younger boy went to his closet and pulled out a brand new guitar. Unlike the one he'd had before and which Satoshi had seen him break into pieces, this one was sleek and shiny, made of metal.
Kazunari sat on the floor against his bed and ushered for Satoshi to do the same. He started adjusting the chords of his electric guitar.
"You told me to come," Satoshi finally said.
"I was working on a new song. I didn't have anyone to sing for me," Kazunari told him nonchalantly, but despite it he did not look up from his instrument.
Satoshi watched him silently and then looked down at his fingers. "Aiba-chan comes to talk to me sometimes," he confessed. He did not elaborate, but he hoped Kazunari would understand what he alluded to.
Perhaps Kazunari did because the younger boy finally glanced at him. His eyes were clouded and he stopped picking at the chords of his guitar.
Slowly, Kazunari reached inside his pocket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. In a soft tone, he said, "I was really working on a song. I'm not finished with the lyrics, but Oh-chan, do you want to hear it?"
It'd been months since they'd last strung and sung music together and the nostalgia hit Satoshi. He nodded and waited as Kazunari unfolded the paper and set it on the floor before him. He adjusted his guitar one last time.
"I don't have a title," he said.
"What is the song about?" Satoshi asked.
Kazunari clenched shut his eyes. They remained closed for a few seconds and then he blinked them open again. "A song you can find anywhere," he murmured and strung his guitar. He began.
* *
FIFTY-TWO
* FIFTY-ONE *
01.
It was another hour before Jun would be released from practice, but Satoshi had already set out from his house long before. He was half-way to school when the message from Kazunari came: [ I took off from work today. I'm home alone. Come over. ]
Satoshi read the message and his steps subsided until he stood still on the sidewalk. He answered his underclassman with an apology.
Kazunari replied instantly. [ Sorry. Never mind. ]
Satoshi felt pity that he couldn't run to his underclassman's side. He tried to think about meeting Jun later to forget disappointing Kazunari and headed towards the school again. He only took a few more steps until he stopped. In a moment of understanding, he remembered that Aiba had planned to confess today.
Satoshi took out the phone he'd stowed away and called Kazunari instead. His junior did not answer.
Forgetting about himself completely, he moved to the side of a building out of the way of others and was determined to call again. Again, Kazunari did not answer.
02.
When Jun met Satoshi at the empty baseball field, he was able to discern the frown on his older brother's face. He lifted a hand and thumbed the corners of Satoshi's slightly down-turned lips.
"What's wrong?" he asked. "Aren't you happy to see me?"
For a moment, Satoshi gave him a small smile. Then Kazunari's message weighed down on him again. "Can we stop by Nino's place?"
Jun wasn't so keen on the idea, but he tried to be patient. "Why?"
Satoshi twined both his hands together and looked down at them. "I want to see Nino," he muttered.
Jun's gut lurched alarmingly, but he tried to reign the emotion in. "Today of all days?"
Satoshi frowned up at him, unhappy that he may have hurt Jun with his request, that Jun's gut lurched again seeing the expression that he had caused. He took Satoshi's twined hands and pulled them apart, hooking their hands together instead. "We'll go," he conceded. "If you promise to tell me what really happened to the chocolates you didn't give away."
The older boy's eyes flickered with the reminder and when he realized that Jun wasn't blaming him and speaking lightly instead, he relaxed. "They're at home," he mumbled.
03.
He finally asked, when they were on their way to Kazunari's apartment, why Jun even bothered about his honmei chocolates. His younger brother was already carrying a bag of chocolates with him.
Jun sheepishly rubbed at his nose to hide his embarrassment as he said quietly, "But it'd be from you." He sounded childish and petty, and thinking back about his confusion from that morning made him even more embarrassed.
He thought maybe Satoshi heard him anyway because his older brother blushed and bowed his head, looking at his feet and the ground.
04.
Night had already fallen and as they walked to their destination, Jun squeezed Satoshi's hand in his grasp and took a deep breath of the cold air. He tilted his head back to glance up at the dark sky. Another day gone.
At the least, even if they were going to meet someone else, they were both together.
Enveloped in the nightly shadows and standing under the bright half moon, Jun felt like only the two of them existed in that moment. No one and nothing else mattered.
He said more to himself than his older brother, "What if as soon as you go abroad, this happiness will come crashing down?"
He felt Satoshi grip his hand in return. He turned his head to look into his brother's face. Jun saw an expression that seemed to mirror his own. He reached up with his free hand and smooth his thumb over his brother's cheek. It truly was only the two of them at that moment.
"Happiness doesn't last, does it?" he asked quietly, but it was a rhetorical question and Satoshi did not answer.
05.
Jun stood a distance away while Satoshi knocked on Kazunari's apartment door. No one answered and Jun could see that his brother was getting anxious. He couldn't understand why, but the sudden request to come and his brother's quiet panic made him reason that what had happened was something his brother considered important.
Watching Satoshi rap at the door urgently yet again was making him antsy as well. He finally opened his mouth to tell his brother to stop when the door swung open. Kazunari stood on the threshold. Jun felt anger rise in him. If his classmate had been home that entire time, then why did he ignore them?
"Nino," Satoshi murmured.
"Why'd you come?" Kazunari asked quietly.
Jun fumed and opened his mouth again, and again he paused because he noticed that his classmate's form looked even more hunched than usual. Instead of the mischievous glint that Jun often found on his face and eyes, Kazunari's expression looked pinched. Jun's anger drained away.
"Nino," Satoshi said again without answering his question.
Kazunari sighed and turned inside, but he did not close the door behind him. Satoshi followed, but he stopped with one foot inside the genkan. He turned and looked at Jun who was still watching the both of them silently.
Jun gestured for him to go on. "I'll wait outside," he decided. He had no place with them.
06.
Satoshi followed Kazunari inside and shut the door behind him. His junior did not stop and walked all the way to his bedroom. Satoshi followed him and entered the room he had been to once. He saw that Kazunari was waiting for him and again he closed the bedroom door behind him. They stood facing each other, no one uttering a word.
Finally, the younger boy went to his closet and pulled out a brand new guitar. Unlike the one he'd had before and which Satoshi had seen him break into pieces, this one was sleek and shiny, made of metal.
Kazunari sat on the floor against his bed and ushered for Satoshi to do the same. He started adjusting the chords of his electric guitar.
"You told me to come," Satoshi finally said.
"I was working on a new song. I didn't have anyone to sing for me," Kazunari told him nonchalantly, but despite it he did not look up from his instrument.
Satoshi watched him silently and then looked down at his fingers. "Aiba-chan comes to talk to me sometimes," he confessed. He did not elaborate, but he hoped Kazunari would understand what he alluded to.
Perhaps Kazunari did because the younger boy finally glanced at him. His eyes were clouded and he stopped picking at the chords of his guitar.
Slowly, Kazunari reached inside his pocket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. In a soft tone, he said, "I was really working on a song. I'm not finished with the lyrics, but Oh-chan, do you want to hear it?"
It'd been months since they'd last strung and sung music together and the nostalgia hit Satoshi. He nodded and waited as Kazunari unfolded the paper and set it on the floor before him. He adjusted his guitar one last time.
"I don't have a title," he said.
"What is the song about?" Satoshi asked.
Kazunari clenched shut his eyes. They remained closed for a few seconds and then he blinked them open again. "A song you can find anywhere," he murmured and strung his guitar. He began.
* *
FIFTY-TWO