Game, set, match

[birdonthewire]

Flush the incompetence out
with your vulgar scream on
the dull brown clay court - begin
with the adjective form at
love fifteen, verbalize it
at love thirty, adverbify then
at love forty, before losing it
altogether in the noun form
with game to that lucky fucker
on the other side of the net-
in that regression from
fucking shot to bloody fucked
to what

Comments

[deponti]

Certainly I feel that excessive use of the "f" word took away a lot from this...for me, at least. It expresses your frustration, I agree....but I am old-fashioned enough for that word to mean something more for me than just an outlet of frustration!

Probably my first negative criticism of your words....

[birdonthewire]

:-) Finally!

You are right - it is certainly not appealing. I actually posted this on my FB page and then deleted it after I remembered I have assorted relatives on my friends list there :)

For me the central idea was the use of the same word in multiple forms to tell a story, so to speak. The tennis court angst is true enough - happens to me every day on the court - (though the F word is much more sparingly used than here). But poetry as a form is about beauty and sensitivity more than anything else, and in that sense, I totally get what you mean - it sort of spoils that whole tone of what a poem should be.

Will see if I can change this - I actually went to sleep y'day night thinking of how to do this differently!